Clown Car Comic Strips - Page 7

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152 Results for Clown Car

View 61 - 70 results for clown car comic strips. Discover the best "Clown Car" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #more time, #no shaving, #all forms of hygiene, #unwashed telecommunting, #clown shoes, #long toe nails

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"I save so much time by not shaving that Im considering giving up all forms of hygiene." "I'd phase into it by having a few unwashed telecommuting days per week." "And if you wear clown shoes, you never need to clip your toenails." "I should be writing this down."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #tainted research, #media, #clebrities, #blood, #environmental issues, #humor, #larry david, #hybrid car, #Entertainment

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Dogbert:"We need to get you on TV to publicize the tainted research I did." "The media likes celebrities, blood, environmental issues and humor." "Someone pushed a pointy-haired man in front of Larry David's car today."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #hired wife, #mean, #condescending, #slave driver, #obnoxious

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The Boss: "I hired my wife to be our new receptionist." Boss: "I foresee no problems whatsoever." Wife: "Hey, Dipweed!" "Go buy me a bagel and a cappuccino." "Then wash my car and fill the gas tank." "NOW DANCE FOR ME, LITTLE MAN! HA HA! DANCE OR I'LL HAVE YOU FIRED!!!" "How may I help you? Have a nice day!" The boss: "Stop dancing in the lobby. My wife is trying to work."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #profitability, #year 3, #key revenue, #comet strike oil, #crashes through wall, #abstractions, #presentation

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Dilbert: "As requested, I wrote the business plan to show profitability by year three." Dilbert: "The key revenue assumption is that an armored car crashes through that wall and spills its contents." "And don't stand where the comet is assumed to strike oil."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #million lines of code, #irrelevent data, #key your car, #no choice

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The Boss: "Our new product has half a million lines of code!" "Translation: there's nothing good about this product, so you hope I'm impressed by irrelevant data." "Now available in ecru!" "You leave me no choice but to key your car on the way out."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #chronic lateness, #repertoire, #classic excuses, #traffic, #loserville, #jinx

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Wally says to Dilbert, "I've decided to add chronic lateness to my repertoire." Wally continues, "I'll start with the classic excuses: car problems, traffic, and misplaced items. Then I'll branch out." Dilbert says, "You're the mayor of Loserville." Wally replies, "Don't jinx it."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #investigative reporter, #garbage dumps, #wasteful car, #tires, #park, #boss, #wasteful

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Investigative Reporter. A reporter and cameraman follow The Boss out of the building. The reporter says, "Explain why your company dumps garbage in the park." The Boss climbs into his giant car. The reporter continues, "And why do you drive such a huge, wasteful vehicle?" The Boss approaches Asok and says, "I need you to scrape something off my tires and take it to the park."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #last three times, #thought stolen, #parked it, #forgot, #magic powers, #car stolen, #parking lot, #car will appear

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The Boss says to Carol, "Carol call the police. My car has been stolen." Carol responds, "Is it like the last three times that you thought it had been stolen?" Carol continues, "And later you realized you just forgot where you parked it?" The Boss replies, "No. This time is different. My car is totally gone." Carol puts her hands up in the air and says, "Watch me use my magic powers to make your car reappear in the parking lot." Carol closes her eyes and exclaims, "Presto auto reappearo!!!" Carol says to The Boss, "After all the other cars leave the parking lot, your car will appear." The Boss finds his car in the empty parking lot. He thinks, "Freaky."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #unemployed, #drive electric car, #abs, #not romantic, #turn on, #socialize, #mingle, #party, #drinks

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Dilbert approaches a woman at a party and says, "I'm unemployed and I drive an electric car." Dilbert continues, "These are my abs. I talk too much about myself and I'm not romantic." Dilbert continues, "I realize it's a long shot but does any of that turn you on?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #complaints, #dating, #dog is perfect, #improve, #list, #lose weight, #need improvements, #new odor, #new wardrobe, #polish up, #new haircut, #relationships

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The dark haired woman from the gym and Dilbert are sitting on the couch. Dogbert is sitting on the arm rest next to them. The woman says, "I made a list of all the ways you need to improve in order to keep dating me." Dilbert reads the list aloud: "Lose forty pounds, new wardrobe, new haircut, new car, new odor..." The woman interupts, "But your dog is perfect. How'd that happen?" Dogbert replies, "When can you move in?"