Complaints Later Comic Strips - Page 7

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253 Results for Complaints Later

View 61 - 70 results for complaints later comic strips. Discover the best "Complaints Later" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #apathy, #marketing guy, #customers, #write fiction, #biographies, #daily lives, #typical customers, #drown in aquariums

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Marketing Guy: We need to know how our customers live and work. I'd like each of you to write fictional biographies that describe the daily lives of our typical customers. I feel you're not taking this seriously. Dilbert: Most of our customers drown in aquariums. The Marketing Guy. Five Minutes Later.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #color printer, #frobid, #frustration, #information services, #office equipment, #office workers, #removed, #rough drafts, #crazy co worker

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Mordac: I am Mordac, the preventer of information services, and I forbid you from using the shared color printer for rough drafts! Dilbert: That sounds reasonable, which makes me wonder what you're up to. Two Months Later Why did you remove the color printer? Mordac: It was hardly ever used.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #cruelty, #maintenance plan, #managers & supervisors, #over budget, #take chances, #business

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Dilbert: Should we buy the maintenance plan or just take our chances? What do you prefer? Boss: I prefer to punish you for buying the maintenance plan and going over budget, but I also don't mind firing you for not buying it if we later need it. Which one of us has a better job?

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #dog, #facebook, #facebook page, #internet & world wide web, #linkedin, #stocks, #twitter, #websites, #work ethic, #working from home, #distractions, #animals

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Dilbert: I'm working at home today. It will be as if we're co-workers. Dogbert: Ugh. This madness must stop! You should check your Facebook page to see what's new. You should check Twitter. Dilbert: I'm almost finished with Facebook. Dogbert: Did you get my LinkedIn request? Dilbert: I'll check. Dogbert: I send you some links to funny websites. Dilbert: Cool! I just spent ten hours at my computer and I can't remember why I was sitting there in the first place. Dogbert: You were going to check your stocks. Dilbert: Okay. That sounds right. Two Hours Later. Two Hours Later. Two Hours Later.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #air travel, #extra legroom, #aisle seat, #no baby section, #extra bag, #priority boarding, #in flight entertainment, #flight insurance, #wi-fi, #airplane etxras

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Carol: Do you want extra legroom on your flight? It costs more. Boss: Yes. Carol: Do you want an aisle seat? That costs extra. Boss: Yes. Carol: Do you want a no-baby section? It costs extra. Boss: Yes. Carol: Extra bag? Boss: Yes. Carol: Meal? Boss: Yes. Carol: Priority boarding? Boss: Yes. Carol: In-flight entertainment? Wi-fi? Flight insurance? We're almost done. Just twelve more questions. Your ticket comes to $27,689. And it's only three stops! Boss: No let's do the return flight. One hour later.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business failures/bankruptcies, #executives, #wages, #long tern survival, #innovate ways, #cannibalize, #current prodcuts, #lose a fortune, #ceo's compensation, #revenue dips, #hovel, #some ideas, #money

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Dilbert: Our only hope for long-term survival is to innovate in ways that cannibalize our current products. The downside is that you'll lose a fortune in CEO compensation when our revenue dips in the short run. CEO: Thanks. I'll stop by your hovel later with some ideas for ruining your life, too.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #suspicion, #decisons, #office, #options, #blame later, #evil, #record on phone. boss, #work

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Dilbert: I need a decision of this by end of business today. Boss: Which option do you recommend? Dilbert: Nice try, but I'm not falling for it. You're trying to set me up to take the blame later. I want to hear you make a decision, and I'm going to record it on my phone so you don't later deny it. Talk, you evil monster! Talk! All I know for sure is that the other approach wasn't going to work either.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #brainstorm, #discussion, #less effective, #meetings, #new product ideas, #stem cell technology

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Boss: Let's brainstorm new product ideas. Remember, the most important rule of brainstorming is no criticizing. Dilbert: I'll go first. Research shows that brainstorming is less effective than people working by themselves and later comparing ideas. My idea is to use stem cell technology to design bosses who aren't ignoramuses. Remember, you're not supposed to criticize ideas. But if you decide to do it anyway, it sort of proves my point. I understand whey brainstorming has a bad reputation, but it doesn't stop me from enjoying it.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #conversation, #bad habit, #misinterpreting, #bad mouthing, #too paranoid, #sounds crazy

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Co-worker 1: So, Dilbert, what else are you working on lately? Dilbert: I'd rather not say because you have a habit of misinterpreting everything you hear and then bad-mouthing it later. Co-worker 1: He basically said he's too paranoid to talk to people. Co-worker 2: He sounds crazy.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #engineers, #squirming, #team players, #thwart inaction

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Co-worker: Why are all the engineers in this meeting squirming when I talk? Did your boss order you to act like team players during this meeting and later thwart me by inaction? Answer me!