Crime Scene Comic Strips - Page 7
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85 Results for Crime Scene
View 61 - 70 results for crime scene comic strips. Discover the best "Crime Scene" comics from Dilbert.com.
Wednesday May 23,
2001
Tags bar, burp, chug chardonnay, drinks, drunk, drunkards, gross, guzzled, hit on, pig, scene, sloshed, slurred words, strictly business, business man, date, animals
Transcript
Alice and a businessman sit at a bar. Alice says, "This is strictly business, right? We're going to talk about your company's product." The businessman raises his glass to Alice and says, "I bet I can drink for chardonnay than you can." Later, Alice's hair is completely dishevelled and both Alice and the businessman are slumped in their chairs, totally drunk. Alice says, "You're a hanshum man and so ish your twin bruver." The business man burps loudly.
Saturday December 09,
2000
Tags crime, finding guilty, jury finding, proram, witness protection
Transcript
The jury verdict DILBERT: WE FIND THE DEFENDANT GUILTY.... ...OF THIS CRIME AND MAYBE A FEW OTHERS THAT DIDNT COME UP, LASTLY, DO YOU HAVE ANY BROCHURES FRO THE WITNESS PROTECTION PROGRAM?
Saturday October 28,
2000
Tags fired me yesterday, leaving previous job, non buisness, use of internet, crime dont pay
Transcript
The Boss, looking at a piece of paper, asks Dilbert, "And what's your reason for leaving your previous job?" Dilbert answers, "You fired me yesterday for non-business use of the internet." The Boss says, "Crime doesn't pay." Dilbert says, "Wait until you hear my minimum acceptable salary."
Sunday July 02,
2000
Tags system failures, data aren't actionable, no practical value, crime, guilty, feel awkward, incident
Transcript
Ted says to Dilbert and Wally, "We had fifteen system failures with the previous software." Dilbert says to Ted, "Your data aren't actionable." Ted replies, "What?" Dilbert continues, "Your presentation has no practical walue." Ted throws his hands in the air in defeat and says to Dilbert, "Well, if that's suddenly a crime then call me guilty!" Wally says, "Now the meeting feels awkward can we go back to acting interested?" Dilbert replies, "I guess." Ted says, "Fine. Let's put this ugly incident behind us."
Monday June 14,
1999
Tags company resources, resume, headhunter, perfect crime, got mail
Transcript
Alice types at her computer and thinks, "heh-heh.. I'm usig compnay resources to e-mail my resume to a headhunter Alice thinks, "It's the perfect crime." The boss sits at his computer. The boss says, "I've got mail!"
Wednesday September 06,
1995
Tags inspirational poster, animal research, beautiful scene, nightly eagle swoop
Transcript
The Boss says to Ratbert, "My inspirational posters aren't working. I need to do some animal research, Ratbert." Ratbert answers, "Ready!!" The Boss holds up the poster and asks, "In this beautiful scene we see a mighty eagle swooping down to capture its prey. What is your reaction?" Ratbert shakes in fear. The Boss thinks, "I think it's working." Ratbert screams, "Run for it, mom!!!"
Monday September 04,
1995
Tags profits down, male sinking, bold leadership, inspirational posters, variety, relevant nature scenes, relate to scene, seagull, clam
Transcript
The Boss shouts at Wally and Dilbert, "Profits are down, morale is sinking; it's time for bold leadership!!" The Boss holds up some posters and continues, "So I got some inspirational posters featuring a variety of relevant nature scenes." The Boss shows the poster to Wally and Dilbert and says, "I think you can relate to this scene." Wally asks, "Am I the seagull or the clam?"
Saturday October 15,
1994
Tags dating scene, reprodcue, cell division, steer clear
Transcript
Wally: I've given up on the whole dating scene. I've decided to reproduce by asexual cell division. Dilbert: I didn't realize that's an option. Wally: you never know until you try. Dilbert: I think I'll steer clear of here for a while. Wally: divide! divide!
Wednesday July 13,
1994
Tags career criminlas, jail, sentences, don't reduce crime, commit crimes, others commit crimes, statistics
Transcript
"I oppose putting career criminals in jail for life. There's no evidence that longer sentences reduce crime." "So, your theory is that when career criminals are in jail, other people commit more crimes to keep the average up..." "Statistics don't lie, Dogbert." "Unless bad statistics went to jail - then the others WOULD like."


