Cruel To Fire Friday Comic Strips - Page 7

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298 Results for Cruel To Fire Friday

View 61 - 70 results for cruel to fire friday comic strips. Discover the best "Cruel To Fire Friday" comics from Dilbert.com.

Boss Can't Be Your Friend

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Boss Can't Be Your Friend - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags boss, double standard, employee, hierarchy, lunch, rank, guest artist, jake tapper

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Man: Do you want to go to lunch? Boss: I can't be your friend because I'm your boss. Someday I might need to fire you, and it would be awkward if we were friends. Alice: Want to go to lunch? Boss: Sure.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags dating, overanalyzing, asking out, relationships

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Woman: Do you want to go to dinner and a movie with me on Friday? Dilbert: That plan is poorly conceived. The best time to watch a movie is also the best time to eat. And what are the odds we want to see the same movie? You're a picky eater, so it would be a nightmare to decide where we both want to eat. One of us would have to compromise, and I assume it would be me. I'm offended by your offer to suboptimize my Friday experience. Woman: Do you have a better option? Dilbert: Nope. See you Friday.

When Wally Will Be Finished

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When Wally Will Be Finished - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags laziness, work ethic, soon, deadline, procrastination, standoff

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Woman: Can you get that done by Friday? Wally: I'll get back to you on that. Woman: When will you get back to me? Wally: Soon. Woman: How soon? Wally: I can do this all day.

Simplify The Slide

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Simplify The Slide - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags intelligence, insult, smart, dumb, powerpoint, guest artist, joel friday

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Boss: You need to simplify that slide. Dilbert: Did you understand it? Boss: Yes. Dilbert: Then why do you think smart people will be confused? Boss: I can't tell if that was an insult. Dilbert: Ask a smart person.

Boss Uses His Gut

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Boss Uses His Gut - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags gut, instinct, decision, deciding, logic, stomach, mouth, guest artist, joel friday

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Boss: Your analysis does not conform to my preconceived notions. So my gut instinct is telling me that you are wrong. Dilbert: When your gut talks to you, what does it use for a mouth?

Rat With An Ear On His Back

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Rat With An Ear On His Back - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags biology, experiment, human tissue, lab, rat, regeneration, science, technology, guest artist, joel friday

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Tablet: Scientists grew a human ear on the back of a rat. When asked for a comment, the rat said, "Hey, get this ear off my back. I didn't agree to this." The lead scientist on the project said, "Great. Now you made it all weird."

The Elbonian Religion

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The Elbonian Religion - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags culture, customs, killing, law, offense, Religion, guest artist, joel friday

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Dilbert: Do you Elbonians have a religion? Elbonian: Of course we do! We're not savages! We believe in killing anyone who offends us three times in a row. Dilbert: Harsh. Elbonian: That's two.

Boss Gets Message From Identity Thief

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Boss Gets Message From Identity Thief  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags identity theft, internet, racism, reputation, guest artist, joel friday, technology

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Boss: They guy who stole my identity just sent me an email. He says, "Stop making racist comments on the internet. You're ruining my reputation." Ha! Take that! Carol: You always said it would pay off someday.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags demands, bosses, unrealistic, frustration, outburst, catch-22, travel, air travel

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Boss: Carol, move my flight one hour earlier Friday. Carol: Do you have any idea how hard that would be? I know it sounds easy, but it won't be. Not at this late date. Not with all your pickiness. When I fail, you will think I didn't look hard enough for a new flight. I can't prove a negative, so I will forever suffer your disdain. My career is ruined. Boss: Never mind! Forget it! Why is it so hard to ask you to do anything? Carol: I've been telling people you're stupid, but I'm open to other theories.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags change, fear, power, executives, decision, threat, hypocrisy

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CEO: You must learn to embrace change. Dilbert: Can we change anything we want to change? CEO: No. You don't get to say what the changes are. I do that. Alice: Will that situation ever change? CEO: No. Alice: Why not? You said change is good. CEO: Change is good. For other people. So embrace it or I'll fire you. Employees: We love change!!!