Cubicle This Morning Comic Strips - Page 7

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618 Results for Cubicle This Morning

View 61 - 70 results for cubicle this morning comic strips. Discover the best "Cubicle This Morning" comics from Dilbert.com.

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags deception, laziness, productivity, work ethic, sensors detect, cubicle, engineering, problem, five years, robot, boss, temporary boss

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Temporary Robot Boss. Robot: My sensors detect no work coming from this cubicle. Wally: That's because I have been working on an engineering problem in my head for five years. Robot: Are you almost done? Wally: I was, but you just made me forget all of it.

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags optimism, telephones, work ethic, prodcutive, conference call, cubicla, exhautisng

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Boss: You don't look productive. Wally: I'm on a conference call. Boss: Maybe you should be in your cubicle listening to it. Wally: Nah. They aren't saying anything important. Boss: Maybe they will. Wally: Optimism sounds exhausting.

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags managers & supervisors, temporary ceo, c level suite, employee realtions, boss, cubicle, insulting, receptionist, business

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Boss: The board named me temporary CEO. And guess who is coming with me to the C-level suite! Carol: It's me! Boss: No. And you're also a terrible guesser.

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags complaints, skunk opera, analogies, understand analogies, employees complain, office, cubicle, human relations

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Boss: Sheesh! It feels as if every employee is complaining about one thing or another today. Carol: Maybe it's because your leadership has turned this place into a skunk opera. Luckily, you don't understand analogies. Boss: That one is about singing.

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags public speaking, slides tell a story, status of project, clown, broken watch, eagle, technology, old shoe, storm drain, pie chart, dcitionary, images, offcie, cubicle

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Boss: Experts say your slides should tell a story in pictures. Start with an image that captures the status of your project. Dilbert: How about this image of a clown with a broken watch? Boss: I was thinking eagle. Dilbert: Fine. Eagle. Boss: Now find an image that shows our technology strategy. Dilbert: How about this image of an old show in a storm drain? Boss: I was thinking pie chart. Dilbert: Fine. Boss: Now for the words. Dilbert: How about this image of a dictionary?

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags competition (psychology), thinking, ceos technology challenge, innovative ideas, fresh water, elbonia, award winning ideas, water in a box

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CEO: I'm proud to announce the winner in the CEO's technology challenge. Two weeks ago, I challenged you to come up with innovative ideas for getting fresh water to Elbonia. The winner is someone named Wally. Wally's idea for bringing fresh water to Elbonia is... "in a box." That's the best one? Boss: We only had one entry. CEO: I hate your bald guts. Wally: I get that a lot. If you need me, I'll be in my cubicle thinking up award-winning ideas.

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags thinking, eureka program, best ideas, dry hole, dude ranch

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Boss: We are introducing our "Eureka Program" to recognize that the best ideas come from employees. Wally: I have ideas? Boss: Well, that was a dry hole. Wally: Can I turn my cubicle into a dude ranch?

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags interviews, lying, job interview, exaggerate credntials, more effective, business skill, misleading, convince customers, prodcuts, dupe some idiot, learn tech skills, honesty, hr, send offer, liar

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Dilbert: You look good on paper, but how do I know you aren't lying about your skills? Interviewee: You should hope I am lying. Studies show that people who exaggerate their credentials tend to be more effective once hired. That's because misleading people is a valuable business skill. For example, I might need to convince our customers that our products are better than the competition. Or I might need to dupe some idiot into leaving my cubicle so I can concentrate. Anyone can learn technical skills, but lying is an art form. Dilbert: He doesn't have an honest bone in his body. Boss: Perfect. I'll tell Human Resources to send him an offer.

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags apathy, exercise & fitness, beating the system, exercising, cubicle, soul crushing work, walker

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Dilbert: I'm beating the system by exercising in my cubicle. If I stay in good health during my forty years of soul-crushing work, I might enjoy a year or two of good health when I retire. Wally: This is why I don't have goals. Dilbert: I'm going to use my walker on your grave!

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags annoyance, cubicle, in box, neat cubicle, document, on chair, desk chair

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Alice: Gaaa!!! Every time I leave my cubicle, someone puts a document on my chair! I have an in-ox! Stop leaving stuff in my chair!!! Dilbert: How do you keep your cubicle so neat? Wally: I put everything on Alice's chair.