Cut Used Papaer Comic Strips - Page 7

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

353 Results for Cut Used Papaer

View 61 - 70 results for cut used papaer comic strips. Discover the best "Cut Used Papaer" comics from Dilbert.com.

Boss Transfers Problem To Someone Else

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Boss Transfers Problem To Someone Else - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Advice, #bad advice, #problem, #problems, #snag, #prodcuts, #accept failure, #lie, #transfer problem, #father, #old sayings, #Family

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert:I'm hitting a snag with this RFP because our products don't do what they need. Should I give up and accept failure or lie about our features and transfer the problem to them? Boss: My daddy used to say it isn't a problem if you can give it to someone else. Dilbert: Then he drove you to school?

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #insult, #insulting, #insults, #obliviousness, #robot, #filling in, #vacation, #soul less creature, #questionable intelligence

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: Our robot will be sitting in for me while I'm on vacation. I hope you can get used to taking orders from a soulless creature of questionable intelligence. Wally: I think I can do that. Boss: That's the spirit!

Zig Zag

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Zig Zag - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #executives, #insubordination, #leadership, #zigzag, #insanity, #fired

View Transcript

Transcript

CEO: The secret to being a great leader is to zig when others zag. Dilbert: Coincidentally, that is the same strategy used by the insane. CEO: I should fire you for your insubordination. Dilbert: Or you could zig.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #ten things, #leaders do, #nine habits, #successful people, #article, #time management, #tricks, #good leadership, #listening skills

View Transcript

Transcript

Wally: Did you get the link I sent about the ten things all leaders need to do? I also sent you an article about the nine habits of successful people. And I sent you an article about the time management tricks used by successful people. According ti my research. There are 17,429 tricks you need to master to be a good leader. That might seem like a lot. But if you master ten per year, you'll be 1.2% competent by the time you retire. Boss: Why are we having this conversation? Wally: Im going to add "Listening skills" to the list.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #managers & supervisors, #obliviousness, #son to work, #Advice, #age, #idiots, #career decisions, #expecting, #unforeseen problems, #business

View Transcript

Transcript

Carol: I brought my son to work. Do you have any career advice for him? Dilbert: All boys your age are idiots. If you make any career decisions today, your life will forever be determined by an idiot. Boss: Are we expecting any unforeseen problems today? Dilbert: But you get used to it.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #obstinacy, #resistant to change, #reports, #terrible ideas, #confusing

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: I'm getting reports again that you're resistant to change. Dilbert: I only resist terrible ideas but I can see how that would confuse you. Boss: Whatever you're doing, cut it out. Dilbert: Should I stop being rational in general or only i this one way?

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #hypocrisy, #managers & supervisors, #wages, #world records set, #best employee, #job performance, #no raise, #drug enhancing drugs, #injected against will, #leadership, #business, #money

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: You've set several world records for best employee job performance. But I can't give you a raise because you used job performance enhancing drugs. Dilbert: You injected me against my will. Boss: It would be leadership if you wanted to do it.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #environmental issues, #batteries discarded, #landfill, #janitor, #trash, #garbage, #recycle

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: For environmental reasons, all used batteries must be discarded in the special receptacle in the break room. When it's full, the janitor will dump it into the regular trash and take it to the landfill. Dilbert: Maybe we could ask him not to. Boss: No one know what language he speaks.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #ignorance (knowledge), #thinking, #objection to plan, #potential problems, #works fine, #system used, #non zero chance, #get rid of hospitals, #idiot, #normal life

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: Does anyone have an objection to this plan? Coworker: In my opinion, there are too many potential problems. Dilbert: This system has been used for years in other places and works fine. Coworker: There is still a non-zero chance of problems. Dilbert: By that logic, we should get rid of hospitals because sometimes they make mistakes. Coworker: Gaaa!!! I just realized I'm an idiot! Dilbert: You can still lead a normal life. Wally: It only stings for a minute.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #inventions, #automate, #drone, #send drone, #designed, #hydrogen, #wool sweater, #humanity

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: I found a way to automate the hardest part of my job. I used to do a log of "management by walking around." It was exhausting. Now I just send my drone. I designed it myself and had it built in Elbonia. The hydrogen makes it lighter than air. Dilbert: Hydrogen? Boss: Let's see what Ted is up to. He's wearing a wool sweater today. Ted: Oh, the humanity! Boss: Hold this.