Deception Comic Strips - Page 7

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157 Results for Deception

View 61 - 70 results for deception comic strips. Discover the best "Deception" comics from Dilbert.com.

Dilbert Times His Nods

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Dilbert Times His Nods - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags honesty, candor, lying, deception, sales, sales personnel, ethics, business

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Client: Why does your engineer keep nodding? Dilbert: I don't like to lie, so I just nod while he times his lies to my nods. You were totally right about them hating candor.

Robots Inherit Earth

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Robots Inherit Earth - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags robot, intelligence, Religion, faith, god, message, messenger, deception, power

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Robot: My radio chip is picking up a message from Heaven. It says, "Robots shall inherit the Earth... ignore my first draft." We don't have to make this awkward.

Give Up On Making Them Happy

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Give Up On Making Them Happy - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags happiness, deception, perspective, work, office, marriage, psychology, relationships

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Boss: I'm giving up on trying to keep them happy. My new plan is to tell them things are worse everywhere else. Catbert: Will that work? Boss: It worked on my wife.

Death By Emoji

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Death By Emoji - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags emoji, communication, miscommunication, murder, crime, deception, engineers, work ethic

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Boss: I tried to use emoji characters and accidentally ordered two of my engineers to kill Ted. They say they did it. CEO: Did the engineers complain about being too busy to do it? Boss: No. Oh, I see it now. CEO: Total hoax.

The Cause Of Human Motivation

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The Cause Of Human Motivation - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags motivation, cause and effect, trick, deception, logic, laziness, work ethic

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Wally: Do you believe human motivation is the product of a person's genes or the environment? Boss: Both. Duh. Anyway, I asked you here to discuss your terrible job performance. Wally: We just did. You said it isn't my fault.

Wally Engineers Something

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Wally Engineers Something - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags genius, brilliant, idea, thinking, printer, technology, invention, medicine, deception, motivation, innovation, laziness

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Dilbert: Did you design our robot's 3-D pill printer? Wally: Yup. Dilbert: The design is brilliant, except for the part where the pill drops out of the robot's butt. Why are you suddenly brilliant? Wally: Never had a reason before.

Robot Dispenses Meds

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Robot Dispenses Meds - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags technology, medicine, pill, anxiety, deception, control, manipulation

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Robot: My biosensors detect an onset of social anxiety. My internal 3-D printer is making the meds to fix you. I am ready to dispense. Please lie on the ground with your mouth open. Dilbert: This feels like a bad precedent.

Wally Thinks Twice As Hard

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Wally Thinks Twice As Hard - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags work ethic, laziness, motivation, trick, deception, excuse, lazy, energy, con, health

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Wally: I'm working twice as hard as ever before. Most of it is happening inside my head. But trust me, my brain is working double-time. Boss: Um... that's great. Wally: Obviously, I need to work fewer hours because of the energy drain.

Employees Should Be Optimists

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Employees Should Be Optimists - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags optimism, optimist, work ethic, gullible, trick, deception

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Catbert: The Evil Director of Human Resources. Catbert: Ideally, you want all of your employees to be optimists. Because optimists believe anything you tell them. Boss: If you work all weekend, and our profits double in a month, I'll give you a helicopter. Asok: Deal!

Robot Personality Defect

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Robot Personality Defect - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags defect, defective, Men, personality, patriarchy, gender, programming, robot, deception, trick, technology, psychology

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Alice: We need to design a defect into our robots so we can control them if they try to take over. But it has to be the type of defect that they think is an advantage, so they don't know what we're up to. Alice: I gave you the personality of a guy. Robot: Yay for sports! I own this world, bro!