Degree In Engineering Comic Strips - Page 7

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307 Results for Degree In Engineering

View 61 - 70 results for degree in engineering comic strips. Discover the best "Degree In Engineering" comics from Dilbert.com.

Dogbert The Product Designer

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Dogbert The Product Designer - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags annoy people, frustration, packaging, product design, sadism, software, torture, product code, engineering

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Dogbert the Product Designer. Dogbert: The main goal of product design is to annoy people for no reason. We'll start by making so much extra packaging that you need to rent a truck just to haul it away. Voice: We sell software. Man: I found the product code for downloading the software!

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags computers, customer service, frustration, installing drivers, software, tech support, technical support, technology, engineering

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Dogbert's Tech Support. Dilbert: The error message says my copy of Windows is not genuine. Dogbert" I'll walk you through a series of steps that won't work. Dilbert: Wait... what? Dogbert: After seventeen attempts that involve rebooting, you will lose hope. At some point you will give up and buy a new computer just to be done with it all. We'll start by uninstalling all of your drivers and reinstalling. Dilbert: Can I skip all of the useless steps and just buy a new computer? Dogbert: Sure, but you don't need to be a jerk about it.

Selling Bad Software Is Like Crime

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Selling Bad Software Is Like Crime - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags big business, business, criminals, user interface, software, lower tax rate, engineering

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Dilbert: Our tests show that people can't figure out how to use our software. And yet we still sell it. How are we different from criminals? Boss: Our tax rate is lower.

Wally Working In The Cloud

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Wally Working In The Cloud - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags deception, laziness, the cloud, work ethic, software, issues, cell coverage, home, doing nothing, engineering

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Wally: If you need me, I'll be in the cloud fixing a software issue. There's no cell coverage in the cloud, so it might seem to you as if I am at home doing nothing. If you need me, I'll be at home doing nothing. Dilbert: Why would anyone need you?

How You Should Have Engineered It

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How You Should Have Engineered It - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags criticism, engineering, pessimism

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Dilbert: Let's skip to the part where I tell you how you should have engineered it instead of whatever you did. Coworker: You don't know what I did. Dilbert: I have five minutes to pretend that matters. Coworker: That's all I need.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags capitalism, cruelty, executives, industry & manufacturing, manufacturing, meat, announcements, artificial meat prodcut, automated robots, senior management, manufacturing employees, engineering

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CEO: The company has two exciting announcements. We are launching a new artificial meat product. In unrelated news, our manufacturing plant is now fully automated by robots. Wow. It got quiet in here. Dilbert: I don't want to say we have no trust in senior management, but... did you order the robots to kill all of the manufacturing employees and turn them into a meat product? CEO: Before I answer that, can we agree that capitalism has some rough edges?

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags deception, laziness, productivity, work ethic, sensors detect, cubicle, engineering, problem, five years, robot, boss, temporary boss

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Temporary Robot Boss. Robot: My sensors detect no work coming from this cubicle. Wally: That's because I have been working on an engineering problem in my head for five years. Robot: Are you almost done? Wally: I was, but you just made me forget all of it.

Engineering

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Engineering - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags engineers, hiring, negativity, personality tests, resumes, special algorithms, personality, stupidity, engineering, psychology

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Catbert: No one looks at resumes anymore. Now we use special algorithms to see where your personality fits in our culture. Man: That process sounds like a steaming pile of stupidity that will beat itself to death in a few years. Catbert: I'll start you in engineering. You'll fit right in.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags apathy, dangerously incompetent, last day of work, lazy, software, tell everyone, train, unwarranted confidence, engineering

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Coworker: This is my last day of work, so I won't have time to completely train you on the software. But I can show you enough to give you unwarranted confidence, when you should be feeling dangerously incompetent. Dilbert: That sounds worse than doing nothing. Coworker: Before I leave, I'll tell everyone you're lazy.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags consumes resources, cruelty, gentle with crticism, software, soils itself, technology, tradition, useless blob, engineering

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Coworker: Tradition requires you to disparage every technology decision made before you got involved. But please be gentle with your criticism of my software. It's like my baby. Dilbert: If you mean your software is a useless blob that consumes resources and soils itself, we are in agreement.