Demand 10 Percent Comic Strips - Page 7

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237 Results for Demand 10 Percent

View 61 - 70 results for demand 10 percent comic strips. Discover the best "Demand 10 Percent" comics from Dilbert.com.

Tall People Earn More

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Tall People Earn More - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags anger, discrimination, fairness, height, money, salary, wages, Women, tall people, short people, performance reviews, height accordingly, female workers

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CEO: Studies show that tall people earn more than shorter people. So instead of doing performance reviews this year, we'll just measure your height and pay accordingly. And, of course, Alice will earn ten percent less than the men. I think that's a law.

Asok The Stock Picking Genius

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Asok The Stock Picking Genius - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags day trader, greed, investing, luck, money, stock market, stocks

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Asok: I bought my first stock and it went up five percent in one week!That means I'm a stock-picking genius. I plan to max out all of my credit cards and become a day-trader. Dilbert: The total market is up six percent. Asok: That's just luck. It can't do that forever.

13 Percent Employees Engaged

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13 Percent Employees Engaged - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags employee, employees, engagement, motivation, global survey, engaged at work, business

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Boss: A global survey says only 13% of employees feel engaged at work. Dilbert: If you're wondering which one of your employees is engaged, it's this guy. Boss: We need ten more just like him. Dilbert: I think I just figured out what's wrong with the rest of us.

Wally Does Ceo Job For 10%

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Wally Does Ceo Job For 10% - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags deception, money, wages, work ethic, annual pay, deal, split work, salary, work percentage, pass the buck

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Dogbert the CEO. Dogbert: I will give you 10% of my annual pay if you do 100% of my job for me. 10% of my pay as CEO is still a lot of money. Wally: I'll do it. I'll give you 10% of what he's paying me if you do 100% of his work plus mine. It's still a lot of money. Asok: I'm in!

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags apathy, complaining, dump, speak mind, coffe mug, demand id, Opinion, victory lap

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Exit Interview Employee: Heh-heh. I am going to speak my mind and dump on everyone. Boss: Give me our I.D. and get out. If anyone wanted your opinion I would have paid you enough to stay. Employee: So much for my victory lap. Boss: You forgot your mug!

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags public speaking, stress, 10 thousand attendees, don't be stressed, nervous, fall apart, speech, large audience

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Boss: Ted, I want you to give a speech to ten thousand conference attendees. You'll be great. Don't get stressed. I said "don't."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags ignorance (knowledge), sleeping & waking up, five hours of sleep, sleep deprivation, lowers intelligence, 1000% raise

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Boss: I'm training myself to get by on five hours of sleep per night. Carol: Studies show that sleep deprivation lowers your functional intelligence. Boss: Not it not be doesn't. Carol? Can I have a thousand percent raise?

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags 10 thousand hours, genetic makeup, laziness, million hours, become an expert

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Alice: People used to think it took 10,000 hours of practice to become an expert. But now people think the amount of practice you need depends on your genetic makeup. So you'd be good to go after a million or so hours. Wally: See why I don't bother?

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags complaining, demand solutions, layer of management, managers & supervisors, solutions not complaints, business

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Boss: Bring me solutions, not complaints. Dilbert: Okay. Let's abolish the layer of management that does nothing but demand solutions. Boss: Now you're just being a jerk. Dilbert: Is that a complaint?

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags death & dying, negotiating, work ethic, raise, workload, incentive, work harder, disgruntled, no meaning, dreams lie broken

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Boss: If you finish your project in twelve months, I'll give you a five percent raise. Dilbert: I would gladly give up five percent of my future pay to avoid a doubling of my workload. Boss: You don't understand. I'm giving you an incentive to work harder. Dilbert: No, I'm pretty sure you're charging me five percent of my future pay to sit here and feel disgruntled. And it's working. I hate you more than ever and I no longer find meaning in my work My dreams lie broken and empty beneath the ruins of my optimism. Boss: I can't tell if your negotiating or dying. Dilbert: It's a little of both.