Different Light Comic Strips - Page 7

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229 Results for Different Light

View 61 - 70 results for different light comic strips. Discover the best "Different Light" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #how-to, #best selliners, #leadership, #sociopathic tendencies, #personality disorders, #read books, #coffee, #metting, #office

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Dilbert: As you requested, I researched all of the best-selling books on the topic of leadership. Apparently, leadership is the product of sociopathic tendencies plus luck. All other personality traits are inactive ingredients. Wally: Did you actually read all of those books? Dilbert: I only needed to know they were all different.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #choosing, #thinking, #intuition, #make decisions

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Dilbert: I wonder if I should rely more on my intuition to make decisions. Dogbert: You mean guessing? Dilbert: No. Guessing is totally different from intuition because of the... um... These things make sense in my head! Dogbert: Is there room in there with all of the intuition?

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #designers, #ignorance (knowledge), #black buttons, #black case, #hardware, #user interface, #normal light, #nerdy, #art, #package design

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Dilbert: You designed our hardware with black buttons on a black case. The user interface will be invisible in normal light. Designer: But more important, it looks great! Dilbert: You don't know what "important" means, do you? Designer: It sounds nerdy. I majored in art.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #managers & supervisors, #consensus, #display leadership, #business

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Boss: See if you can get consensus on your idea and get back to me. Dilbert: Or you could display some leadership and get back to me. Boss: I'm leading you right now. Dilbert: Really? I thought it would feel different.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #meetings, #discuss project, #civility is dead, #invited to meeting, #office

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Coworker: What's a good time to get together and discuss my project? Dilbert: Never. Every interaction I've had with you has been a waste of time. I have no reason to think it will be different in the future. Coworker: Sheesh! How did civility die? Dilbert: Maybe you invited it to a meeting.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #happiness, #office workers, #uncomfortable, #enjoy working, #my job, #suffer, #boss, #unhappy, #psychology

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Boss: It make me uncomfortable when they appear to enjoy working. It feels like I'm not doing my job. Suffer! Same planet, different reality.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #money, #budget, #last year objectives, #huge loss, #bottomline, #punish siuccess, #startegy, #management

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Boss: We've been asked to cut our budget by 30%. Dilbert: That doesn't make sense. We met all of our objectives last year. Boss: A different part of our company had a huge loss. Dilbert: Shouldn't you cut their budget, not ours? Boss: Their budget isn't big enough to make a difference to the bottom line. Dilbert: So our strategy is to punish success, and reward failure? Boss: Just do your job and leave the strategy to management. Dilbert: Hypothetically, if I do my job poorly, would that be good or bad for me?

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #golf, #video games, #pebble beach, #xbox, #full spectrum, #lamp, #fresh air, #house, #windows, #played golf, #coffee, #Sports, #Entertainment

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Co-worker: I played golf at Pebble Beach over the weekend. Dilbert: I played that course on Xbox. Co-worker: That's totally different. Dilbert: I used a full spectrum lamp to simulate sunlight. Co-worker: I got fresh air! Dilbert: You should get a house that has windows. They're terrific.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #different, #employees, #goals, #work little, #year ahead, #your goals, #my goals, #business

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Boss: When I asked for your goals for the coming year, I had something different in mind. Not "work as little as possible while avoiding the wrath of the pointy-haired troll." Wally: Don't call them my goals if you mean your goals.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #engineers, #inventions, #bend light, #around obkject, #cloak of invisibility, #make billions, #selling to military, #tricked, #ploy, #sneaky, #empty looking chair

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Wally: I discovered a way to bend light around an object to form a cloak of invisibility. We'll make billions selling it to the military. I'll be testing it over the next several months. You'll know it's working if you never see me in the office. During that time, don't sit in any empty-looking chairs unless you first shout my name and clap. WHAT'S THAT OVER THERE?! Boss: What? I don't see anything. Wally; How do you like it so far?