Dilbert Mother Comic Strips - Page 7

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View 61 - 70 results for dilbert mother comic strips. Discover the best "Dilbert Mother" comics from Dilbert.com.

Dilbert Gets A Nemesis

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Dilbert Gets A Nemesis  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, managers & supervisors, files, nemesis, assigned, prevent, successful, job, loptop

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dilbert and boss on video call. boss: i checked my files, and i see no nemesis has been assigned to you. dilbert: why do i need a nemesis? boss: it prevents you from being successful enough to take my job. dilbert: okay, that makes sense.

Remote Workers Do Not Mate

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Remote Workers Do Not Mate - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags appearance, dating, love & dating, walking, outdoors, dating app, woman, app, reproduction, inner qualities, goodbye, genes

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dilbert and dogbert walking outside. dogbert: they say most people meet their future mates at work. now that you are working from home, your odds of mating just turned negative. you could try using a dating app to find a woman, but then you'd need to rely on your looks. obviously, that's a dead end. your best chance of reproduction has always been to wear down a co-worker over several years. women need time to get over your appearance, and to appreciate your inner qualities. we should have a goodbye party for your genes. dilbert: maybe next time we could walk and not talk. dogbert: maybe.

Project On Hold

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Project On Hold - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, technology, project, hold, opposite, Opinion, change, football, analogy, goalpost, fact, laptop, video call

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dilbert on video call. dilbert: and that's why we should put the project on hold for now. voice from laptop: hahahaha! that's exactly the opposite of what you said last week. dilbert: i sometimes change my opinions when the facts change. how do you play it? voice from laptop: now you're moving the goalposts.

Shaking Hands

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Shaking Hands - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, managers & supervisors, invent, Alternative, handshake, high-five, month, coffee

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boss: i've invented an alternative to shaking hands. you raise one hand up like the start of a high-five and stop. what do you think? dilbert: why don't you try it for a month and tell me how it goes?

Instead Of Handshakes

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Instead Of Handshakes - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, technology, handshake, substitute, read, vote, suggestions, obscene

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boss in meeting with dilbert and wally. boss: thank you for your suggestions on what we should do instead of shaking hands. i'd like to read a few. and we can take a vote. well, it seems that all of your suggestions are obscene. wally raised hand: i vote yes

Dilbert Interrupts Women

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Dilbert Interrupts Women - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, discrimination, office workers, interrupt, woman, sense, nincompoop, babble, pattern

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tina: dilbert is always interrupting me because i'm a woman. how do you deal with it when he interrupts you? alice: he doesn't interrupt me. tina: that makes no sense. he interrupts me because i'm a woman, and you're a woman...so... alice: maybe he doesn't interrupt me because i make sense when i talk. whereas you're more of a babbling nincompoop and a notorious ruiner of meetings. tina: well, i certainly don't know where you... alice: let's head back now. tina: you interrupted me! alice: try to spot the pattern.

Zoom Could Have Been Worse

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Zoom Could Have Been Worse - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, embarrassment, technology, video call, zoom, time, waste, meeting, imbeciles, mic

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dilbert with dogbert on video call. dilbert: what a waste of time this zoom meeting is. i hate dealing with imbeciles. voice from laptop: your mic is on. dogbert: could have been worse.

Keyboard Conscience

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Keyboard Conscience - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, technology, keyboard, conscience, human, hello, reconsideration, mean, email, working remotely, work, remote, empathy, monster, feelings, jerk, send

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conscience voice coming from dilbert's keyboard. keyboard: hello, human. i'm your keyboard's conscience. you should reconsider sending such a mean email. working remotely has caused you to devolve into an empathy-free monster who cares nothing for the feelings of other. dilbert typing: send keyboard: now you're just being a jerk.

Boss Loves Dilbert

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Boss Loves Dilbert  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, managers & supervisors, boss, video call, love, wife, camera, relationship

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dilbert at home in recliner on video call with boss. voice from laptop: i love you. dilbert: you do? boss: no, not you. i was talking to my wife, who is off camera. no one loves you. dilbert: this was my longest relationship.

Online Therapy

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Online Therapy - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, psychiatry, technology, online, therapy, video therapy, social, isolation, awkward, bored, people, hate, pretend, hand washing, carrier, deadly, pathogen, normal

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dilbert on video call. voice from laptop: billing for your video therapy session begins now. dilbert: i'm worried that all of my recent social isolation has changed me. therapist: how so? dilbert: well, a year ago, i felt awkward and bored around people, and that was bad enough. now i hate them so much that i only pretend to wash my hands. i guess i'm secretly hoping i'm a carrier for a deadly pathogen of some type. am i normal? therapist: i sure hope so because i do the same thing.