Down For Day Comic Strips - Page 7

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View 61 - 70 results for down for day comic strips. Discover the best "Down For Day" comics from Dilbert.com.

Product Warning Is Too Long

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Product Warning Is Too Long - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 26, 2017's comic on:


Tags #technical writer, #instructions, #caution, #warning, #safety, #criticism

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Tina: My boss, who knows nothing about technical writing, told me to cut my 700-page product warning down to 500 pages. He doesn't appreciate my art. Dilbert: Sounds like both of you are idiots. Tina: This will go smoother if you stop talking.

500 Pages Would Be Rubbish

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500 Pages Would Be Rubbish - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 25, 2017's comic on:


Tags #writing, #criticism, #technical writer, #warning, #caution, #safety

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Boss: You need to edit the product warning from seven hundred pages down to one. Tina: Oh, that's rich. I'ma professional technical writer, and you're telling me how to write? Boss: Can you cut it down to 500 pages? Tina: Sure, if you want it to be total rubbish.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 13, 2017's comic on:


Tags #thundershirt, #stress, #prank, #practical joke

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Wally: You look stressed. Asok: I am. How do you drink so much coffee and stay so calm? Wally: It's easy. I wear a "Thundershirt" under my work clothes. It was designed to make dogs feel safe during thunderstorms. When I saw the commercial for it on TV, I wondered what else it could do, so I bought one. I haven't had a bad day at work since then. Narrator: One week later. Asok: Feeling good! Best day of work ever! Dilbert: Did you convince a co-worker to wear pet clothes? Wally: That's how I reduce my stress.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 25, 2017's comic on:


Tags #time machine, #time travel, #experiment, #algorithm, #planning, #mistake, #error, #science

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Boss; Ted, we need a volunteer to test the time machine prototype. Ted: Is it safe? Boss: Of course it is. Would I ask you to risk your life if it were not safe? Ted: Yes. Boss: Oh, I didn't realize you knew that. But don't worry. The engineering consensus is that it will work. Dilbert: You will return to this exact spot in one day. Alice: Does our location algorithm account for planetary movement? Ted: I should have asked more questions.

Ceo Likes Asok's Presentation

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Ceo Likes Asok's Presentation  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 17, 2017's comic on:


Tags #presentation, #public speaking, #powerpoint

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Boss: Our CEO said he liked your presentation. Asok: He made me shut up and sit down before I got to my first slide. Boss: He's not a big fan of content.

75 Slides Too Long

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75 Slides Too Long  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 16, 2017's comic on:


Tags #public speaking, #presentation, #length, #brevity, #powerpoint

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Asok: I have 75 slides to discuss in ten minutes. Save your questions to the end. CEO: Sit down and never talk to me again as long as you live. Dilbert: How'd the CEO presentation go? Asok: It was 75 slides too long.

Wally Has A Doctor's Note

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Wally Has A Doctor's Note  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 30, 2017's comic on:


Tags #sleep, #boredom, #meeting, #laziness, #narcolepsy, #health, #business

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Wally: Here's a doctor's note saying I have a chronic case of meeting narcolepsy. Boss: Sit down. We need to talk about this. Wally: ZZZZZZ.

Cyborg Makes Wally Unnecessary

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Cyborg Makes Wally Unnecessary - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 27, 2017's comic on:


Tags #automation, #cyborg, #technology, #work ethic

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Randy: I am using the microchip in my brain to plan the entire project. Okay... done. The rest of you can go back to your cubicles and continue doing nothing. Wally: I spent my entire life getting ready for this sort of future and it's going down easy.

Asok Is In The Jargon Matrix

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Asok Is In The Jargon Matrix - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 10, 2017's comic on:


Tags #jargon, #language, #breakdown, #nonsense

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Carol: Come quickly. I think Asok entered the jargon matrix. Asok: At the end of the day, I want some actionable insights that will improve our cross-platform integration. Carol: Can he hear us? Dilbert: Yes, but our words are just noise to him now. Asok: Silo.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 09, 2017's comic on:


Tags #complaining, #listening, #small talk

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Boss: How's work? Dilbert: Well, since you asked... it's like being trapped in a garbage compactor and no one can hear me scream. All my hopes and dreams have died, along with my immune system and my dignity. The only thing keeping me alive is that food tastes good. I tried to escape into my imagination, but I learned I don't have one. My life has no meaning. Each second is a slow-motion ordeal. Why do I get the feeling you weren't listening to any of that? Boss:My day was good too.