Dumb Woman Comic Strips - Page 7

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734 Results for Dumb Woman

View 61 - 70 results for dumb woman comic strips. Discover the best "Dumb Woman" comics from Dilbert.com.

Motivational Speaker

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Motivational Speaker - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags motivation, motivational speaker, inspiration, backfire

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Alice: The motivational speaker you hired was great!!! We all decided to quit out jobs and become motivational speakers. Boss: He was supposed to make you work harder here. Alice: You wanted him to motivate us to be dumb?

Dilbert Characters

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags manipulation, fear, tactic, ignorance, jargon, language

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Woman: I need help persuading your boss to bless my project. Should I use facts and logic? Dilbert: No, he hates that stuff. Woman: Maybe I could appeal to his better angels? Dilbert: His better angels wear noise-canceling headphones. Woman: Okay, fine. I'll just appeal to his self-interest. Dilbert: It would be in his best interest to avoid people like you. Woman: What do you suggest? Dilbert: We've had good outcomes using his ignorance and fear. Woman: Sign this ore else a blockchain drone will kill you in your sleep. Boss: Where's my pen!

Boring And Needy Children

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Boring And Needy Children - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags parents, mother, interview, children, annoyance, work-life balance, Family

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Boss: Do you enjoy spending time with your children? Woman: No, they're boring and needy. They can't even hold a conversation. If I'm being honest, I prefer working long hours so I see less of them. Boss: Perfect. You're hired. Woman: I mean, I love them, but I don't like them.

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags intelligence, aspirations, relationships, betterment, warren buffett

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Asok: Warren Buffett says you should spent time with people who are better than you. Alice: Why would people who are better than me be dumb enough to spend time with me? Asok: Well... I assume you have to find people who are better than you, but not smart enough to avoid you. Because, obviously, you'd be bringing down the average of anyone who was better than you. Which reminds me, I need to cut this meeting short to keep my average up. Dilbert: Maybe we can continue the meeting without him. Alice: That would only be good for you. I need to find better people. Dilbert: The meeting went downhill from there. Dogbert: Can you wrap this up? You're bringing down my average.

We Are Family

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We Are Family - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, Family, relationships, parents, leadership

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Boss: I think of all of you as family. Wally: That's dumb. Boss: You'll never amount to anything. Wally: Mommy?

Conditions For Wally To Be On The Team

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Conditions For Wally To Be On The Team - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags laziness, work ethic, excuses

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Wally: My boss gave me approval to join your project team under the condition I don't take on any extra work. Woman: The whole point of being on the project is to do extra work. Maybe I should talk to your boss. Wally: His other condition is that you never contact him.

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags berating, yelling, gaslight, temper, anger, frustration

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Asok: What's that gadget? Woman: Are you freakin' serious? Asok: Yes. Woman: Oh... My... God. Do you not remember the long discussion about this thing in the last meeting? Are you trying to gaslight me? I have not patience for trolls! Eat dirt and die! Asok: I joined the project today. This is my first meeting. Woman: Liar! Dilbert: Welcome to the team.

Both Huge Liars

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Both Huge Liars - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags dating, tinder, app, relationships, lying, deceit

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Dilbert: You don't look like your photos on the dating app. Woman: Your profile said you like to go to the gym. So I guess we're both huge liars. Dilbert: Maybe we can build on that.

Finding Alice

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Finding Alice - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags surveillance, data, spying, location, privacy

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Boss: Does anyone know where Alice is? Dilbert: Yes. The CIA, Google, Facebook, Apple, and Russian hackers know where she is. Boss: But we have no way to find her? Dilbert: Depends. Was she dumb enough to download our company app?

Dumb Question

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Dumb Question - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags engineers, questioning, dumb question, stupidity, jargon, language, lingo

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Boss: I'm not an engineer, so this might be a dumb question. But why can't we 3-D print a blockchain and HTML it into a bitcoin? Dilbert: Alice can answer that. Alice: I quit.