Easy To Gather Comic Strips - Page 7
146 Results for Easy To Gather
View 61 - 70 results for easy to gather comic strips. Discover the best "Easy To Gather" comics from Dilbert.com.
Wally says, "My cubicle is surrounded by loud idiots who make it impossible for me to concentrate on my work." The Boss says, "Did you create a presentation on why you couldn't do the presentation you're supposed to be doing?" Wally says, "Yes" The Boss says, "Wouldn't it have been just as easy to create the actual presentation?" Wally says, "I'm hoping to use this this one more than once."
The Boss says, "We can't move forward until you get input from Allen." The Boss says, "And that won't be easy. Allen is an amorphous cloud of gas." The Boss says, "He once was human like us." The Boss says, "Allen was afraid to give his opinion or make a decision." The Boss says, "He put so much effort into avoiding commitment that his molecules stopped binding together." The Boss says, "Now he exists as nothing but a subtle odor near the copier room." Dilbert says, "How can I get his input?" The Boss says, "Don't make me micromanage you." Dilbert says, "Allen? Is that you?" Wally says, "Sorry."
"Wally, I can't open that file you e-mailed." "Sounds like you need to upgrade your viewer application." "Which means you'll probably have to upgrade your operating system." "You'd better add some ram while you're at it." "But it probably makes no sense to upgrade your old computer. This is a good time to get a new one." "How do I get a new computer?" "It's easy. I'll send you a file that explains it." "Are you sending corrupted files to people again?" "Only if I think they deserve it."
The Boss says, "Dilbert, I want you to the be lead developer on this project." The Boss says, "Don't check the other developers' work because it will make them angry." Dilbert says, "That's okay, as long as they do good work." The Boss says, "Actually, they do bad work. Very, very bad work." Dilbert says, "You are setting me up for certain failure." The Boss says, "If work were easy, no one would pay you to do it." Dilbert says, "Okay. I'll go through the motions while hoping the project gets canceled for other reasons." Dilbert says, "Keep up the bad work, Carl." Carl says, "Who told you?"
The Boss: I'm concerned that you might be low-balling your goals for the coming year. For example, this one says you will 'decompose in your chair'. That sounds easy. Dilbert: Not really. Half of the time I'm in a different chair."
ALIEN: I came from a distant planet to bring you advanced technology, but no one here will listen!" "I am a superior being, you moron! Listen to what I tell you and then do it!" THE BOSS: I fired him before he started yammering about Linux." Catbert: Easy come, easy go."
"Dilbert, meet Albert. He's old, but I like to call him experienced." "I'm trying to win an award for being one of the best places to work if you have one foot in the grave." "I'm only 54. I ran a marathon yesterday." "I asked the cafeteria to stock up on food that's easy to gum."
"Today I will teach you how to use your incompetence to achieve your goals." "Step 1: Be incompetent. (Also known as 'the easy part.')" "Step 2: Volunteer for the most difficult and important projects" "Step 3: Convince your boss that an enemy within the company is slowing you down." "Step 4: Insist that competent people be pulled off of other projects to help you." "Step 5: Declare yourself the leader of the competent people" "Step 6: Claim credit for the work of the competent people." "Step 7: After you get promoted, fire the competent people to eliminate witnesses."
"Before I begin my day, I'd like to see which of my thirty projects you still remember assigning to me." "...And thirty: Rename the projects so it's not so easy to spot our over-spending." "None of those ring a bell, but they all seem critical now." "Ouch."
The Contractor "No pressure, but do you have any idea how easy it would be to get rid of you?" "There isn't even any paperwork. I just point my finger and you're history." "Here comes the firing finger. Oooh...Watch out!"