Enough People Quit Comic Strips - Page 7

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

1000 Results for Enough People Quit

View 61 - 70 results for enough people quit comic strips. Discover the best "Enough People Quit" comics from Dilbert.com.

Disbanding Task Force

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Disbanding Task Force  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #boss, #business, #decision, #office workers, #sarcasm, #technology

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: Why did you disband the technology task force? They were critical. CEO: I didn't. I just replaced the people and changed the mission. Boss: That sounds a lot like disbanding it. CEO: Really? I was hoping it didn't.

Factories No Buyers

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Factories No Buyers - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #big business, #money, #sarcasm, #customers, #poison

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: Our factories are back online, but we have no buyers. It turns out that our customer base overlaps with the people who recently poisoned themselves with household disinfectants. Boss: Who could have seen that coming? Dilbert: I won a bet on it.

Why Use Tests

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Why Use Tests - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #diseases, #health & safety, #medical, #office workers, #sarcasm, #pandemic, #virus, #diagnose

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: No face mask? Boss: I have antibodies for the virus. I'm pretty sure I had the virus last January when I had a throat tickle. Dilbert: I wonder why virus test kits exist when we can just ask people if they had it. Boss: I was wondering the same.

High Fives

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
High Fives - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #boss, #hygiene, #life, #office workers, #virus, #pandemic, #social distancing

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: To avoid spreading viruses, there will be no shaking hands in the workplace. That custom has been replaced by uncomfortable body language and awkward banter about not shaking hands. Dilbert: Are high-fives still okay? Boss: Yes, we don't care if those people live or die.

No Human Contact

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
No Human Contact - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #home, #human, #contact, #self isolation, #quarantine, #coronavirus, #health, #oxytocin, #lonely

View Transcript

Transcript

dilbert at home: i haven't had any human contact for months. dilbert wearing face mask sitting on couch with dogbert: people need physical contact to keep their oxytocin at healthy levels. dogbert: get away from me. dilbert: maybe if we both close our eyes.

Version 2 Kills

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Version 2 Kills - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #upgrade, #software, #technology, #version, #health, #issue, #nonsense

View Transcript

Transcript

wally with face mask giving presentation: according to our newest data, 100% of the people who upgraded to version 2.0 of our software died the same day. wally to boss: but we don't think it means anything because all of them had underlying health issues. boss: how did they all have underlying health issues? wally: version 1.0 had some rough edges too.

Asok Confidence

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Asok Confidence - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #asok, #business, #co-workers, #confidence, #enough, #fake, #room, #test

View Transcript

Transcript

ask: you know what's wrong with this room? not enough of me in it. that's what. dilbert: are you testing your fake confidence? asok: is it working?

Mind Control

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Mind Control - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #Dogbert, #slump, #sales, #clone, #product, #shoddy, #mind, #control, #legal, #notice

View Transcript

Transcript

dogbert: my team of dogbert clones has reversed your slumping sales. your products are still shoddy, but we use mind control to make people not notice. it's all perfectly legal. boss: i wasn't going to ask.

Three Dogberts

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Three Dogberts - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #Dogbert, #marketing, #plan, #clone, #singularity, #event, #book

View Transcript

Transcript

dogbert on desk with three dogberts behind him: i've got three dogberts working on your marketing plan, but even that isn't enough. i'd bump it up to five dogcarts, but then we risk creating a singularity event. boss: i don't get it. dogbert: read a book.

Extra Dogbert Clone

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Extra Dogbert Clone - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #marketing, #genius, #problem, #company, #situation, #clone, #blame

View Transcript

Transcript

the marketing genius dogbert: my genius alone will not be enough to fix the problems at this company. this looks like a five-dogbert situation. that is why i arranged to clone myself five times. boss: what's the extra clone for? dogbert: that one takes the blame.