Enough People Quit Comic Strips - Page 7
1000 Results for Enough People Quit
View 61 - 70 results for enough people quit comic strips. Discover the best "Enough People Quit" comics from Dilbert.com.
Boss: Why did you disband the technology task force? They were critical. CEO: I didn't. I just replaced the people and changed the mission. Boss: That sounds a lot like disbanding it. CEO: Really? I was hoping it didn't.
Dilbert: Our factories are back online, but we have no buyers. It turns out that our customer base overlaps with the people who recently poisoned themselves with household disinfectants. Boss: Who could have seen that coming? Dilbert: I won a bet on it.
Dilbert: No face mask? Boss: I have antibodies for the virus. I'm pretty sure I had the virus last January when I had a throat tickle. Dilbert: I wonder why virus test kits exist when we can just ask people if they had it. Boss: I was wondering the same.
Boss: To avoid spreading viruses, there will be no shaking hands in the workplace. That custom has been replaced by uncomfortable body language and awkward banter about not shaking hands. Dilbert: Are high-fives still okay? Boss: Yes, we don't care if those people live or die.
dilbert at home: i haven't had any human contact for months. dilbert wearing face mask sitting on couch with dogbert: people need physical contact to keep their oxytocin at healthy levels. dogbert: get away from me. dilbert: maybe if we both close our eyes.
wally with face mask giving presentation: according to our newest data, 100% of the people who upgraded to version 2.0 of our software died the same day. wally to boss: but we don't think it means anything because all of them had underlying health issues. boss: how did they all have underlying health issues? wally: version 1.0 had some rough edges too.
dogbert: my team of dogbert clones has reversed your slumping sales. your products are still shoddy, but we use mind control to make people not notice. it's all perfectly legal. boss: i wasn't going to ask.
dogbert on desk with three dogberts behind him: i've got three dogberts working on your marketing plan, but even that isn't enough. i'd bump it up to five dogcarts, but then we risk creating a singularity event. boss: i don't get it. dogbert: read a book.
the marketing genius dogbert: my genius alone will not be enough to fix the problems at this company. this looks like a five-dogbert situation. that is why i arranged to clone myself five times. boss: what's the extra clone for? dogbert: that one takes the blame.