Ever Comic Strips - Page 7

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

350 Results for Ever

View 61 - 70 results for ever comic strips. Discover the best "Ever" comics from Dilbert.com.

Wanting More Out Of Life

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Wanting More Out Of Life - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags Advice, laziness, wisdom, ambition

View Transcript

Transcript

Asok: Do you ever want more out of life? Wally: That's how losers think. If you always want more, you can never be happy with what you have. Asok: I can't tell if you're wise or lazy. Wally: I know. It took me years to find that sweet spot.

Top Dilbert Searches

marketing, project, cloud, catbert, leadership, budget, birthday, engineer, time sheet, sales, wally, strategy, dogbert, powerpoint, project management, topper, leader, boss, change, meeting, data, management, mordac

Wally's Invention Is The Best Seller Ever

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Wally's Invention Is The Best Seller Ever - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags success, Promotion, management, work, laziness

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: The product you accidentally invented is our biggest seller in company history. So I'm promoting you to a leadership position. Wally: Phew! I thought you were going to make me work.

Wally And Gandhi Have Lots In Common

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Wally And Gandhi Have Lots In Common - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags gandhi, comparison, coffee, greatness, achievement

View Transcript

Transcript

Wally: Have you ever noticed how much I have in common with Gandhi? We're both little bald guys who think India should be self-governing. Dilbert: I don't think he drank coffee. Wally: Imagine what he could have accomplished if he did.

Trust The Boss

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Trust The Boss - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags trust, confidence, vampire, dead, trustworthy

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: We're not planning any changes, trust me. Dilbert: Trust you? I've seen your browser history. I wouldn't trust you to guard a funeral home. Boss: That's the easiest job ever. Just drive stakes through the hearts of the dead and they'll stay put. Dilbert: To my point.

Cartoonist As Spokesperson

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Cartoonist As Spokesperson - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags spokesperson, embarrassment, celebrity, promoter, product

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: We're looking for a celebrity spokesperson, but we don't have much budget for it. All we can afford is a cartoonist. Can you do the job for $75? Scott Adams: Deal! Boss: Have you ever done anything on social media that would embarrass us? Scott Adams: I thought that's what it's for.

Talking About The Last Job

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Talking About The Last Job - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags personality, comparing, employees, dumb, business, psychology

View Transcript

Transcript

Man: I will now compare my last job to this one because it is all I ever talk about. Everyone was so much smarter at my old job. Fuh-fuh-fuh-fuh. Dilbert: I assume that's why they fired you. Man: Lucky guess.

Dilbert Fits It All In One Slide

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Dilbert Fits It All In One Slide - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags irrational, demands, managers, powerpoint, nonsense

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: It took me a hours to figure out how to fit everything you wanted into one slide. Boss: That's great. Now add in some stuff about the budget, our risks, and all of our competition. And keep it all on one slide. Dilbert: Have you ever listened to the noise coming from your mouth?

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags Advice, workload, stress, counseling

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: I have too much work, and it's stressing me out. Boss: I've been reading about this sort of situation. Try writing don all the things that make you feel grateful. Dilbert: That would be more work! Boss: For your anger issues, try keeping a journal of all the times you lose your temper. Dilbert: That would be more work! Has anyone ever taken your advice? Boss: Do you know the guy in Marketing with the eye patch? Dilbert: He followed your advice? Boss: Half of it.

Smart People Are On Both Sides

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Smart People Are On Both Sides - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags Politics, intelligence, appearances, perspective

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: Have you ever noticed that there are smart people on both sides of every political issue? Boss: Maybe it only seems that way to you because you're not one of the smart ones. Dilbert: Do I seem smart? Wally: I didn't realize you were trying.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags logic, false logic, imagination, managers, review, performance

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: I can't give you a raise because your performance was only average. Dilbert: How can you calculate an average for my performance? No one has ever been in my exact situation. Boss: I compared you to other employees. Dilbert: You compared me to strangers doing entirely different things? Boss: No, I compared you to imaginary people doing your exact job. It's called managing, and I'm very good at it. Dilbert: How do you know you're good at it? Boss: Because imaginary people do this job worse than I do.