Feeling Of Doom Comic Strips - Page 7
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"Can I ask you a question?" "Sure, new guy." "How long do I need to work here before..." "...the dark cloud of hopelessness and despair begins to lift?" "I keep expecting the feeling to go away any minute." "I was hoping to achieve job satisfaction within a month." "Once that happens, I figure that total self-actualization can't be far behind." "I'd give it another day or two." "Any minute now."
"It's stressful to be a contract employee. I only get paid for the hours I work." "I can't enjoy my time off because it feels as if it costs me a fortune!" "Do you know what I mean?" "Yeah, I had a feeling once."
Catbert: Evil Director of Human Resources "Our employee onboarding process will get you all mainstreamed in no time at all." "This will be your cubicle, if we can find another place to store this junk." "You'll get a phone and a computer if the budget ever gets approved." "This is Alice. She will be your mentor." "I don't have time to babysit! I'm buried in work!" "I do not like you. I...do...not...like you!!!" "Stand in the hallway and read these binders. If you learn anything, forget it, because knowledge isn't rewarded here." "Try giving up hope. It turns the bad feeling into emptiness."
"How was your conference call?" "Very successful. Bill said he'd find a new supplier for the casing." "Or it might have been Ron, Ted, or Bob. They all sound the same on the phone." "I hope it wasn't Bill. He never follows through." "Ron is too overworked, Ted is a liar and Bob's a moron." "I'd say the call was a waste of time. It might even be a huge step backward." "Success is the happy feeling you get between the time you do something and the time you tell a woman what you did."
"Wally, what's the status on the RDP project?" "Am I working on that one?" "You've been in charge of it for a year." "Oh. In that case, it's almost done." "Half of being a manager is living with a vague feeling of uneasiness."
Carol: I just fired off a scathing letter to a columnist for misusing the word "dongle". Im intoxicated with the feeling of verbal superiority. My sad life has meaning , I feel alive! The columnist: Dear Nutbag, Thanks for the input, Heres a link yo a dictionary, I await your apology
Dilbert: It feels unmanly to hire movers. I should be able to do this with a few friends and a pick up truck. Dogbert: The movers just pulled up. Dilbert: I don't like being weak. I can walk by myself! mover: On this little legs?
Man: I have a PHD, so obviously you should do what I say. Instead of negotiating with vendors, lets just tell them how much money we have and ask them yo do the right thing. You're probably feeling embarrassed for not thinking of the idea yourself. Alice: Must...not...shave...PHD.
Dilbert points to a slide, "My project is in a flaming death spiral, thanks to you lazy, selfish weasels." Dilbert continues, "But I'm feeling terrific because I'm taking mood-altering prescription drugs!" Dilbert continues, "I can see by your expressions that my doctor is much better than yours!" He points fingers from both hands and exclaims, "Hoo-wah!"
Dilbert is giving a presentation. He says, "The original schedule looked like this..." Dilbert points to a slide and says, "One month for a management decision and one year to do the project." The Boss, Wally, and Alice listen as Dilbert continues, "The revised schedule is this..." Dilbert continues, "One year of indecision followed by intense pressure to do the impossible before the deadline." Dilbert passes a box of 3-D glasses and says, "Now if you'll each take a pair of 3-D glasses..." Dilbert continues, "You can see the layers of management incompetence practically jump out at you." Dilbert hands out cards and says, "Now scratch one of these scented cards to sniff the unmistakable odor of doom." Wally and Alice are suffering from the smell. The Boss says, "I don't smell anything. Is mine broken?"