Follow A Process Comic Strips - Page 7

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155 Results for Follow A Process

View 61 - 70 results for follow a process comic strips. Discover the best "Follow A Process" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

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And that's why I recommend using this process. The Office Nemesis "Have you done a cost-benefit analysis for every conceivable option?" "Safety violation! Safety violation!"

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Is it more important to follow our documented process or to meet the deadline? "I only ask because our deadline is arbitrary and our documented process was pulled out of someone's lower torso." "Where's your artificial sense of urgency?" "Teamwork killed it."

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Let's use our process to figure out why Project Wolverine failed. "There was only one reason: Management discourages employees from voicing opinions." "Wananagewent dutchcourages uth. Boo hoo!"

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Your management performance has been abysmal. I'm afraid I have to minimize you. "Minimize? Is that like downsize?" "Downsizing is only for non-managers." "Abysmal managers get minimized. Follow me." "Your new office is the size of a refrigerator crisper." "You will have no direct reports and your job title will be 'Director of Unnecessary and Special Projects.'" "Can I ever be maximized?" "Maybe if some other manager jumps off the roof." "You're right - the view up here is spectacular!"

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"Why is your project months behind?" "I still don't have the user's requirements because she's a complete nut job." "It's your job to manage that process!" "I complained to her boss, who promptly misinterpreted the problem and ordered her to work on the wrong stuff." "Then every member of her family got a serious illness. Then she got called to jury duty." "She promised to give me the requirements this afternoon." "It was too hard to come up with my own requirements, so I just copied the requirements from another product." "Is the other product similar to what you want?" "Where are you going with this?"

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"I heard that you're a certified project management zombie. Is that true?" "I'm an assertive and innovative professional, experienced in project and operations management methodology and process development." "He didn't seem dangerous." "I just sat through a three-hour project review meeting."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 03, 2006's comic on:


Tags #cartonnist, #breaks third wall, #toto, #follow yellow sticky, #notes, #fantasy

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"Uh-oh. Why am I still here? What's happening to me?" "I violated the third wall and now I can't get out!" "Dogbert? Is that really you???" "No, I'm Toto. We must follow the yellow sticky-note road." Continued

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 02, 2005's comic on:


Tags #shoddy mistakes, #meeting, #avoid mistakes, #documented process, #keep hearing, #business

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The Boss: "In order to avoid shoddy mistakes, everything we do from now on will be part of a documented process." Wally: "What documented process did you use to decide what documented process to use?" wally: "Or is this one of those shoddy mistakes I keep hearing about?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 18, 2005's comic on:


Tags #accounting depot, #travlke expeses, #copies of receipts, #need originals

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The Accounting Department "I can't process your travel expenses because you sent me copies of receipt. I need the originals." "I'm busy. Just fax them."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 15, 2005's comic on:


Tags #400 per hour, #expensive, #ball rolling, #process using, #recommendations

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The Boss: Mister Dogbert has agreed to consult for $400 per hour. "I know it's expensive but you get what you pay for." "Let's get the ball rolling." "My first question is: what process will you be using to arrive at your recommendations?" Dogbert: "a..." "very...slow one..."