Forty Hours Training Comic Strips - Page 7

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

378 Results for Forty Hours Training

View 61 - 70 results for forty hours training comic strips. Discover the best "Forty Hours Training" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #communication, #managers, #training, #obstacle, #laziness

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: Can I take a class to improve my communication skills? Boss: What are you talking about? Dilbert: I want to take a class that teaches me how to communicate better. Boss: I don't understand what you're asking me. Dilbert: I am asking permission to take a class to help me communicate better. Boss: I see your lips moving but I can't figure out what you're asking. Dilbert: Gaaa!!! There's no way to get there from here! Boss: I'm glad I took that management class on how to not listen. It already paid off.

Dogbert's Negotiating Class

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Dogbert's Negotiating Class - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #book, #deal, #negotiating, #negotiation, #self help, #guest artist, #josh shipley

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert: Welcome to Dogbert's one-week training class for negotiators. I believe in leading by example, so this entire course will involve me trying to persuade you to buy my book. If everyone in the class buys my book, you can all have the rest of the week off. Voice: Done.

Asok The Uber Driver

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Asok The Uber Driver - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #driver, #taxi, #ride share, #rideshare, #money, #compensation, #wages

View Transcript

Transcript

Asok: Today is my first day as an Uber driver. I love the flexibility! I only have to work 75 hours a week and can pay my rent. Man: With plenty left over? Asok: Are you going to finish that sandwich?

Carol Leaves Kids

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Carol Leaves Kids - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #babysitter, #children, #supervision, #date night, #parents, #Family

View Transcript

Transcript

Carol: Dilbert should be here soon to fill in for the babysitter. Your dad and I need to leave now. Just let him in. We turned off our phones, so don't try to reach us on our date night. Narrator: Two hours later. Boy: I don't think he's coming. Girl: I say we Airbnb this place.

Dilbert Is Picked As Company Mascot`

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Dilbert Is Picked As Company Mascot` - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #posture, #mascot, #success, #hunchback, #work ethic, #reward

View Transcript

Transcript

CEO: Management has selected Dilbert to be our new company mascot. His bad posture speaks volumes about his hard work and long hours. Dilbert: Ow! CEO: Did you ever dream you would be so successful? Dilbert: This is exactly how I dreamed it.

Charge All Hours To Projects

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Charge All Hours To Projects - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #logic, #billing, #honesty, #fraud, #money, #time

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: Make sure you charge 100 percent of your time to project codes. Dilbert: Are you asking us to fraudulently apply our miscellaneous hours to specific projects so we can overbill clients? Boss: It's not a crime if you pretend it was an accident. Dilbert: Did you learn that in "flaw" school?

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #justice, #trial, #jury duty, #laziness, #lazy, #juror, #legal system

View Transcript

Transcript

Wally: I got called for jury duty. I'll probably be gone for weeks. I think I would be a good juror. As I understand the job, you sit in a chair doing nothing for hours. Boss: You're supposed to pay attention to the trial. Wally: That's what the other eleven people are for. There's a lot of redundancy in the system. Time to serve up some justice.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #logic, #reasoning, #managing, #managers, #leadership, #quality, #absurd

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: You assigned a pack of idiots to my project team. Boss: We can't afford to hire good people. Dilbert: How am I supposed to create world-class products with a team of disruptive idiots? Boss: Try working extra hard. Dilbert: You want us to be more energetic about our bad decisions? Boss: You also have to put in the hours. Dilbert: Are you saying bad decisions, plus long hours, plus lots of enthusiasm, produces great engineering? Boss: Not if you stand around yacking about it all day.

Wally Thinks Twice As Hard

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Wally Thinks Twice As Hard - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #work ethic, #laziness, #motivation, #trick, #deception, #excuse, #lazy, #energy, #con, #health

View Transcript

Transcript

Wally: I'm working twice as hard as ever before. Most of it is happening inside my head. But trust me, my brain is working double-time. Boss: Um... that's great. Wally: Obviously, I need to work fewer hours because of the energy drain.

Topper Never Sleeps

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Topper Never Sleeps - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #sleep, #tired, #brag, #bragging, #braggart, #absurd, #competition, #top, #embellish, #embellishment, #exaggeration, #health

View Transcript

Transcript

Topper. Dilbert: I only slept four hours last night. Topper: That's nothing. I was born awake and decided to stay that way. Dilbert: Lack of sleep is making me a little loopy. Topper: I have a human head collection.