Hard Data Comic Strips - Page 7
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Asok: I keep working hard, but no one notices. Wally: That's why I send out department-wide emails at around midnight every night. Asok: I didn't know you work at home every night. Wally: Do I need to speak slower here?
Dilbert: My boss asked me to teach a class on coding because it is hard to find programmers in this job market. Are there any smart people in the class or do you all work in marketing and sales? Voice: What's that supposed to mean? Dilbert: Thank you. Is anyone else in sales?
Asok: I'm thinking of getting a degree in business and moving onto the management track. Is it fun being a boss? Boss: It's the best! I haven't done anything hard since the day I got this job. I mostly just criticize idiots all day long. It's as if the company is paying me to do my hobby. Speaking of pay, my salary is about triple your pay. Asok: Is there any downside? Boss: I had a lot of guilt at first. Asok: It must have been awful. Boss: Yes, it was the longest ten minutes of my life.
Dilbert: Can I go with you to the customer meeting? I'm worried you might promise something we can't deliver. The Boss: Don't be ridiculous! I've been having customer meetings without engineers for years. Dilbert: I know and they all turn into disasters. The Boss: You worry too much! Everything will be fine! Man: Can you replace our data centers with blockchain? The Boss: Give us two days.
The Boss: When will I get the test data? Dilbert: I don't know Ted is working on that. The Boss: When do you think he will be done? Dilbert: I know. I'm not Ted. The Boss: Just give me a range. Dilbert: Between one day and seven-hundred years.
The Boss: If you want to succeed, you have to work hard every single day for years. Dilbert: That sounds awful. You just talked me out of wanting to succeed. Did you work that hard to get where you are? The Boss: Next topic!
The Boss: The job market is so competitive that we can't even find ex-cons who want to work here. So we're hiring active criminals who haven't yet been caught. The Boss: Say hello to Paul. Paul: I hear our data center has a a lot of copper wire.
Jerry: Omg! You are soooo wrong! I literally cannot believe you are this gullible. Hahahahaha! Hahahaha! I can't wait to tweet about your stupidity. Your dumbness will live forever on the internet! Dilbert: You probably haven't seen the new data that proves I'm right. Will you apologize like a decent human being or will you move the goalposts claim victory. And trash my name like a demented weasel? Jerry: Can you tell me more about the weasel option?
Dilbert: I put together a plan for our data center project. The Boss: We don't need a plan we're an agile company. It's better to move fast and fix our mistakes as we go. Dilbert: You're thinking of software. Where the cost of mistakes is low, this is a construction project. The Boss: That data center will be full of software, will it not? Dilbert: Yes, but... The Boss: Don't be afraid of change. Dilbert: What if I rapidly make a plan and tell you I didn't? Is that agile enough for you? The Boss: I'll need to google that.