Head Comic Strips - Page 7
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578 Results for Head
View 61 - 70 results for head comic strips. Discover the best "Head" comics from Dilbert.com.
Friday April 27,
2012
Tags accomodate cup, coffe cup, head flattened, job interview, monkey, surgically flattened, starbucks, barista, animals
Transcript
wally: Tell me why I should hire you as my service monkey, Carl. Carl: I worked as a starbucks barista for eight years and my head has been surgically flattened to stabilize your coffee cup. Dilbert: Impressive. Wally: This is nothing, You should see how well he interviews,
Monday April 23,
2012
Tags business ethics, lawyers & attorneys, apps, contact information, users address books, data, office, desk, meeting, store data, business
Transcript
Coworker: Please tell me our apps don't steal contact information from our users' address books. Boss: We upload the data but we don't store it. Coworker: That's like saying I can date your wife if I put a bag over her head. Boss: That could work. Coworker: I don't think I'm getting through to you.
Thursday April 19,
2012
Tags conversation, huge head, parade float, pasty skin, communication, over rated
Transcript
Tina: I just noticed you head is huge. Alice: I never noticed it before, but now all I see is a parade float made out of pasty skin. Dilbert: Communication is overrated. Dogbert: I'm feeling that right now.
Friday December 09,
2011
Tags anger, annoyance, wrong side of bed, bat like, wrapped around body, funnier in head
Transcript
Alice: I woke up on the wrong side of the bed this morning. Wally: Were you hanging from the bottom with your wings wrapped around your body? That was funnier inside my head.
Sunday November 20,
2011
Tags crimes, gadgets, inventions, world class invenotr, invented prodcuts, key memeber, fired for stealing, stuff to steal, high five, hits boss
Transcript
Boss: I hired a world-class inventor. Meet Toby. When he worked for our competitor, he invented their coolest product. Toby: I was just a member of a team. Boss: A key member! Toby: Until they fired me for stealing. Wally: You came to the right place. We have tons of stuff to steal and no one ever gets caught! Toby: Give me a high five with a boss head in the middle! Noise: SLAP! Toby: That's the only thing I ever invented. Wally: Have you seen our storage closet?
Sunday October 09,
2011
Tags anger, frustration, matrix comparing features, skin in game, bang head, cause extra work, value of time, ninja economics
Transcript
Ted: You know what would be great? I'd like to see a matrix comparing the features of our past products. Boss: Dilbert, why don't you pull that together for our next meeting! Dilbert: That would take two days and the matrix would have no practical use. The problem here is that Ted doesn't have any skin in the game. I propose that Ted has to bang his head on the table whenever he causes me to do extra work. That will help Ted make better decision about the value of my time. Ted: Never mind. Dilbert: Ninja economics!
Thursday August 25,
2011
Tags anger, thinking, ignorant, backstabbing, die, make changes
Transcript
Customer meeting Boss: If I may correct what Dilbert just said, I'm sure it would be easy to make those changes. Dilbert: You ignorant, backstabbing son of a beach ball. Boss: Are you saying something inside your head? Dilbert: No. Die.
Wednesday August 24,
2011
Tags anxiety, conversation, discussion, valuable input, hear alarm
Transcript
Boss: When are you meeting with the customer? I'll join you to add my valuable input. Noise: Slurp. Dilbert: Does everyone hear that alarm or is it only in my head? Boss: I can stay all afternoon.
Sunday May 22,
2011
Tags ignorance (knowledge), lawyer, feels wrong, research, harvard law degree, feelingl, greasy food and ignorance, data, harvard degree over cheeseburger, bad mood, science, legal
Transcript
Boss: This doesn't feel right. Dilbert: It came straight from our lawyer. Boss: It just feels wrong. Can you research it a little more? Dilbert: Sure. I can do that research in my head. Let's see... our lawyer got his degree at Harvard and has twenty years in this exact field. Whereas you have a "feeling" that is probably the result of an unholy combination of greasy food and ignorance. The data clearly favors the Harvard Law degree over the cheeseburger. ... Good luck. He's in a bad mood.
Tuesday March 08,
2011
Tags center balanced, considered an earring, died getting haircut, jewelry, laziness, normal problems, sleeping in chair
Transcript
Wally says, "I considered getting an earring to make myself more fascinating." Wally says, "But I spend a lot of time sleeping in my chair, so I need my head to be center balanced." Dilbert says, "You don't have normal problems." Wally says, "I almost died getting my hair cut."


