High Calorie Donuts Comic Strips - Page 7

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View 61 - 70 results for high calorie donuts comic strips. Discover the best "High Calorie Donuts" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #new employee, #threat, #disagreement, #scared

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Dogbert the CEO versus the MBA Man says, "My analysis doesn't support your strategy." Dogbert says, "My analysis says I can hire there high school dropouts to slap you until it does." Man says, "No?please, not dropouts!" Dogbert says, "They will kick your assumptions."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #meeting, #crying, #afraid, #nervous, #breakdown, #business

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Job tension is running high Asok says, "I?I?forgot to total the cost estimates." Asok says, "Gaaaa!!!! You're going to fire me! I'm the next casualty of the frail economy!!!" The boss says, "Maybe we could finish this by e-mail." Asok says, "Must improve street-mime skills!!!"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #meeting, #eating, #customers, #angry, #business

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Wally says, "Thanks for coming on short notice. I called this meeting because?" Wally says, "?Company policy allows me to order donuts for any meeting that includes customers." Wally says, "I don't work on commission."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #meeting, #sales, #annoyance, #anger, #business

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man says, "Thanks to a new law, every customer In my sales territory needed to upgrade." man says, "Now I wear a hat made of money. The funny thing is that I'm not even a good salesman." man says, "Next week, the donuts are on me." Alice says, "Die! Die! Die!"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #economy, #sarcasm, #smart, #twice as smart, #survive economy, #spontaneously developing, #high iq, #pep talk, #worked in marketing, #see future

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The boss: We need to be twice as smart to survive this economy. Dilbert: Good plan. I look forward to spontaneously developing an I.Q. of 400. The boss: This pep talk totally worked in marketing. Dilbert: Will I be able to see the future?

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #coldness of the grave, #dress it up, #high in demand, #mad, #time, #time management, #waiting

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Ted: Who are we waiting for? Dilbert: Alice. She has poor time management skills. But she's try to dress it up by saying she's in high demand. Why do I suddenly feel the coldness of the grave.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Promotion, #money for cake, #grossly overpais, #exacerbate, #unfairness, #high cholestrol

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Tina says, "Ted got promoted, so I'm collecting money for a cake." Dilbert says, "He'll be grossly overpaid compared to us. Buying him cake will exacerbate the unfairness." Tina says, "He has high cholesterol." Dilbert says, "Here's a dollar."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #high altitude view, #bunch of termites, #termites hate each other, #eat same log

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The Boss says, "I don't need to know the details. Just give me the high altitude view." Dilbert says, "From a high altitude we're all a bunch of termites trying to eat the same log." The Boss says, "Maybe drill down a little more." Dilbert says, "The termites hate each other."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #5 minute huddle, #high energy, #standup meeting, #solved in minute

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The Boss: I want the entire staff to meet at 10 A.M. every day for a five-minute huddle. The Boss: We'll use this high-energy stand-up meeting to solve problems and share successes. The Boss: Who has a problem that can be solved in a minute?"Wally: I'm tired. Can I sit on you?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #cost estimate, #user requirements, #estimate, #go over budget, #fired, #Number, #ten million dollars, #know cost, #input

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The Boss: "I need a cost estimate on your project." Dilbert: "I have no idea I haven't even gathered the user requirements." The Boss: "Don't worry I won't hold you to the estimate." Dilbert: "Yes you will. You will put it in the plan, forget we had this conversation, and fire me when I go over budget." The boss: "Give me a number or I'll fire you right now." Dilbert: "Okay, it will cost ten million dollars." The Boss: "That's too high." Dilbert: "If you already know the cost why are you asking me?" The Boss: "So you'll feel like you had input." Dilbert: "Is input supposed to feel this bad?"