High Priority Comic Strips - Page 7

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

186 Results for High Priority

View 61 - 70 results for high priority comic strips. Discover the best "High Priority" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #high priorities, #standing, #coffee, #vendor comparison, #face front, #work ethic, #lazy, #suspicious, #annoyed

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss says, "Wally, did you finish the vendor comparison?" Wally says, "I'm proud to say I did not." Wally says, "You told me to focus on my highest priorities, and that wasn't one of them." The Boss says, "So? when can I expect it?" Wally says, "Logically, that would be never." Wally says, "If that task ever became the most important thing I was doing, you'd eliminate my position." The Boss says, "True. But at least you're getting the high priority stuff done, right?" Wally says, "So far, it's taking all of my energy to avoid doing the low priorities."

Top Dilbert Searches

marketing, project, cloud, catbert, leadership, budget, birthday, engineer, time sheet, sales, wally, strategy, dogbert, powerpoint, project management, topper, leader, boss, change, meeting, data, management, mordac

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #human resources, #evil director, #employee, #morale, #high, #happy, #overpaid, #nature, #yell, #clouds, #unhappy, #hands clasped, #business

View Transcript

Transcript

Catbert: Evil Director of Human Resources Catbert says, "I'm getting reports that your morale is too high." Catbert says, "Happiness is nature's way of informing human resources that you're overpaid." Employee says, "Nature wants me to be unhappy?" Catbert says, "Don't blame me. Go yell at the clouds."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #copy machine, #paper jam, #poltergeist, #scary, #horror, #upside down, #legs sticking up, #high heels, #kick legs, #yell, #afterworld, #arms, #flail, #hold out arm

View Transcript

Transcript

Tina says, "I can almost reach the paper jam, but a poltergeist is trying to drag me to the afterworld." Tina says, "Maybe I can blind him with the toner cartridge. Ha ha! Take that! And that!" Tina says, "Gaaa!!! I can't feel my arms!" Dilbert says, "I only have one."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #management theory, #engineer, #find, #choices, #unhelpful, #useless, #office, #characters, #impractical, #doomed, #high demand, #engineering

View Transcript

Transcript

Man says, "I need you to assign one of your engineers to my project." The Boss says, "Follow me and I'll show you your choices." The Boss says, "This one is highly capable, but she's in such high demand that you'll be lucky if she ever returns a call." The Boss says, "This one is aggressively unhelpful." The Boss says, "This one will tell you that all of your plans are impractial and doomed." The Boss says, "That one is an intern, so no one takes him seriously." The Boss says, "My management theory is that nature makes everyone useless in their own way." Man says, "I'm not useless." The Boss says, "Said the man who can't find a good engineer."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #meeting, #ridicule, #cruel, #mean, #rude, #angry, #annoyed, #business

View Transcript

Transcript

Catbert: Evil director of human resources Catbert says, "With your skills, you have a variety of career options." Catbert says, "For example, you could flap your arms and fly to a planet that places a high value on morons." Catbert says, "Etcetera."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #reading, #budget, #fixing, #failure

View Transcript

Transcript

The boss says, "We can only afford to fix the high-priority bugs." Dilbert says, "If we don't fix 100% of the bugs, the software will be 100% useless." Dilbert says, "So our plan is to fail?" The boss says, "More slowly."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #new employee, #threat, #disagreement, #scared

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert the CEO versus the MBA Man says, "My analysis doesn't support your strategy." Dogbert says, "My analysis says I can hire there high school dropouts to slap you until it does." Man says, "No?please, not dropouts!" Dogbert says, "They will kick your assumptions."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #meeting, #crying, #afraid, #nervous, #breakdown, #business

View Transcript

Transcript

Job tension is running high Asok says, "I?I?forgot to total the cost estimates." Asok says, "Gaaaa!!!! You're going to fire me! I'm the next casualty of the frail economy!!!" The boss says, "Maybe we could finish this by e-mail." Asok says, "Must improve street-mime skills!!!"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #economy, #sarcasm, #smart, #twice as smart, #survive economy, #spontaneously developing, #high iq, #pep talk, #worked in marketing, #see future

View Transcript

Transcript

The boss: We need to be twice as smart to survive this economy. Dilbert: Good plan. I look forward to spontaneously developing an I.Q. of 400. The boss: This pep talk totally worked in marketing. Dilbert: Will I be able to see the future?

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #coldness of the grave, #dress it up, #high in demand, #mad, #time, #time management, #waiting

View Transcript

Transcript

Ted: Who are we waiting for? Dilbert: Alice. She has poor time management skills. But she's try to dress it up by saying she's in high demand. Why do I suddenly feel the coldness of the grave.