How To Program Comic Strips - Page 7

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View 61 - 70 results for how to program comic strips. Discover the best "How To Program" comics from Dilbert.com.

Gaslighting The Boss

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Gaslighting The Boss - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #managers & supervisors, #month, #november, #october, #birthday, #family relations, #wife, #gaslight

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boss: what's the name of the month that comes after october? dilbert: november boss: that's what i thought. my wife is trying to gaslight me so she doesn't have to buy me a birthday present. dilbert: how long has she been doing that? boss: i thought i was 26 years old until just now.

Study 5 G First

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 Study 5 G First  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #managers & supervisors, #technology, #business, #5g, #dangerous, #study, #research, #reporter

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boss: dilbert, i need you to respond to this reporter who thinks our 5g technology is dangerous. dilbert: is it dangerous? boss: how would i know? dilbert: maybe i should study it first. boss: never mind. i'll ask someone else.

Humans Making Decisions

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Humans Making Decisions - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #biases, #business, #data, #decision, #guessing, #human nature, #making, #primitive, #psychology, #reason, #sarcasm, #superstitions, #technology, #science

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dilbert: when humans were primitive and dumb, they used their superstitions and biases to make decisions. eventually, science won out, and we evolved to use data and reason to make decisions. dogbert: how'd that work out? dilbert: not so good. it turns out that all of our data are unreliable and conflicting. and we don't have the mental capacity to use reason. dogbert: it's still better than guessing. dilbert: how do you know that? dogbert: you are hard to talk to.

Edits Without Tracking

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 Edits Without Tracking  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #accident, #business, #complex, #delete, #document, #edit, #email, #face mask, #forgot, #technology, #tracker

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co-worker: i edited your incredibly complex document and sent it to you by email. dilbert: i don't see your high-lighted changes. co-worker: i forgot to turn on the edit tracker. dilbert: i'm going to accidentally delete your email. co-worker: that's probably how i'd play it too.

Meeting Ending Invention

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Meeting Ending Invention    - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #managers & supervisors, #invent, #app, #application, #ring, #phone, #meeting, #strategic, #direction, #face mask

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dilbert: i invented an app that makes your phone ring to get you out of meetings. boss: how does that fit our strategic direction? dilbert's phone: bing, bing, bing! dilbert walking away: i need to take this call.

Boss Doesn't Understand

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  Boss Doesn't Understand - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #managers & supervisors, #technology, #server, #migration, #difficult, #understand, #question, #face maks

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boss: can you finish the server migration by monday? dilbert: no way. boss: how hard can it be? dilbert: you only say that about things you don't understand. boss: i ask that question every day. dilberty: yup.

Offer 90 Percent Less

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 Offer 90 Percent Less  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #managers & supervisors, #sarcasm, #price, #list, #stupid, #impact, #face mask, #business

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boss: try offering 90% less than the list price and see if they take it. dilbert: no one reduces their prices by 90% just because you want them to do it. i will look stupid for asking! boss: watch how that doesn't impact me at all.

Dilbert Can Answer Questons

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 Dilbert Can Answer Questons  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #answer, #business, #delegate, #face mask, #managers & supervisors, #meeting, #project, #question, #sarcasm, #awkward

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boss: dilbert can answer any of your questions, but i have another meeting. dilbert: not really. i have no involvement in the project. he just told me to follow him to this room. co-worker: well, this is awkward. dilbert: how about i go to the restroom and never come back?

Dilbert Tells The Odds

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Dilbert Tells The Odds - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #decision, #estimate, #managers & supervisors, #miscommunication, #odds, #technology, #wrong

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dilbert: i estimate odds at a 70% chance things go well, and a 30% chance we lose money on the deal. boss: if we lose money, will you admit you were wrong? dilbert: how could i be wrong? i'm just telling you the odds. boss: if we lose money, that's on you for recommending it. dilbert: um...no. i'm telling you the odds and letting you decide. boss: but you're the one saying this is such a great deal. dilbert upsetting and yelling forcing face mask off his face: i'm only telling you the odds, you pea-brained ignoramus!!! boss: so, you won't admit you were wrong? dilbert's face mask is over his eyes.

Bad Judge Of Character

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Bad Judge Of Character  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #managers & supervisors, #bad, #judge, #character, #hire, #termite, #clothes, #disguise, #youtube, #makeup, #video

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boss wearing face mask: i'm starting to think i'm a bad judge of character. the last three people i hired turned out to be termite colonies in clothes. dilbert in face mask: how did they disguise the face part? boss: they learned from youtube makeup videos.