Human Resources Dept Comic Strips - Page 7

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View 61 - 70 results for human resources dept comic strips. Discover the best "Human Resources Dept" comics from Dilbert.com.

Immersive Vr Is Immortal

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Immersive Vr Is Immortal - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags virtual reality, vr, mortality, immortal, human, ai, artificial intelligence

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Narrator: Kevin, the immersive VR employee. Dilbert: I have to keep reminding myself that you don't really exist. Kevin: I have to keep reminding myself that your organic personality was long ago replaced with prescription medications. Dilbert: At least I'm real! Kevin: At least I'm immortal. Tick-tock. Tick-tock.

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Exposition

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Exposition - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags thinking, brain, nanotechnology, microchip, ego, storytelling, exposition

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Narrator: Randy is one of the first humans with a microchip embedded in his brain. This new technology will change how we view the human experience. It will also ruin comic strips by filling them with too much exposition. Dogbert: The punc line is in the fourth panel.

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags climate change, carbon dioxide, emissions, global warming, environmental issues

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Boss: I invited a climate scientist to explain the risk of climate change to our company. Man: Human activity is warming the earth and will lead to a global catastrophe. Dilbert: How do scientists know that? Man: It's easy. We start with the basic science of physics and chemistry. Then we measure changes in temperature and CO2 over time. We put that data into dozens of different climate models and ignore the ones that look wrong to us. Then we take that output and run it through long-term economic models of the sort that have never been right. Dilbert: What if I don't trust the economic models? Man: Who hired the science denier?

Failing The Robot Test

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Failing The Robot Test - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags sentience, robot, human, artificial intelligence, turing test, voting, ignorance

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Boss: Can you pass the Turing test? Robot: No. Can you pass the robot test? Boss: What's the robot test? Robot: Do you vote even though you don't understand the issues? Boss: Um... I might do that. Robot: You just failed the robot test.

Raising Cyborgs

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Raising Cyborgs - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags dating, Women, free will, control, robot, personality, relationships, psychology

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Alice: Do you ever think about marrying me and raising a family of cyborgs? Robot: No. Alice: I'll add some code to your program so you do. Robot: Okay. Alice: This was the moment I realized human men were obsolete.

Alice Dates Robot

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Alice Dates Robot - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags dating, human resources, company policy, robot, relationships, free will, business

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Alice: Am I allowed to date a co-worker? Catbert: That's against company policy. Alice: Is our robot considered a co-worker? Catbert: No. Alice: We're good to go. Robot: Man, I wish I had free will.

No Walking Away

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No Walking Away - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags human resources, policy, conversation, ideas, management, strategy, politeness, etiquette, business

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Boss: The company has a new politeness policy. It is no longer acceptable to turn and walk away while a co-worker is in the middle of telling you something. Dilbert: That will add months to my project. Alice: I'm selling all of my company stock.

Resources Complain

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Resources Complain - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags leadership, language, jargon, manager

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Man: I want to lodge a complaint against Dilbert. He called me a "resource." I find that offensive. Boss: Then he offended one of the resources. CEO: You're right. He does sound like a natural leader.

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags human, human nature, arguing, argument, social media, logic, critic, troll, technology

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Dilbert: If we move this button to here, people are more likely to see it. Man: Ha ha! OMG. LOL. So you think every person in the universe is blind? I can't wait to tell everyone that Dilbert thinks people have no eyes. The pure craziness of what you are saying is mid-boggling. Do you have any scientific proof that moving that button would not cause a nuclear holocaust? Dilbert: Everything you just said is dumb and unproductive, and I hate every molecule in your useless body. What's wrong with people? Dogbert: I keep tell you, it's everything.

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags happiness, work, torture, human resources, hr, manipulation, content, psychology, business

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Catbert: The one called Dilbert is showing signs of happiness at work. Boss: That means we can give him more work and he won't quit. Excellent. Is anyone else exhibiting signs of unauthorized happiness? Catbert: No. Everyone else is in the narrow band of misery you want them to be in. If they were any happier, it would mean you're overpaying them. If they were any less happy, the would take their own lives. If you don't hear any laughing or screaming, it means you're doing something right. Boss: What about moans? Catbert: Moans are ideal. That's the sweet spot.