Installed Software Comic Strips - Page 7

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291 Results for Installed Software

View 61 - 70 results for installed software comic strips. Discover the best "Installed Software" comics from Dilbert.com.

A System For Transferring Mistakes

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A System For Transferring Mistakes - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 17, 2016's comic on:


Tags #blame, #mistake, #boss, #review, #human resources, #revenge, #business

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Boss: Make sure we get all of the cost savings that our vendor promised with our new software. Dilbert: Those savings are not real. The vendor lied to you because you know nothing about technology. Boss: If only I had some way to turn my mistake into his mistake. Catbert: It's called a performance review.

Boss Buys Software Without Help

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Boss Buys Software Without Help - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 16, 2016's comic on:


Tags #bad advice, #Advice, #sales, #lying, #deception, #business

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Boss: I bought new software for our network. Dilbert: Who helped you on the technical side? Boss: The vendor. He said our current software uses the wrong kind of electricity.

Wally And Agile Programming

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Wally And Agile Programming - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 30, 2016's comic on:


Tags #laziness, #work ethic, #avoid, #evasion, #acrobatics

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Boss: I'll ask Wally to write this software. I haven't seen him since he took that agile programming class.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 17, 2016's comic on:


Tags #technology, #learning, #education, #tutorial, #frustration

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Dilbert: I love living in a world where everything I need to know is on the Internet. I'll just hop over to YouTube and learn how to use my new app. Perfect! I can choose from over a hundred different tutorials! It will only take me an hour or so to figure out which one refers to my version of the software. Narrator: One hour later. Dilbert: Gaaa!!! These videos are poorly labeled! Narrator: Two hours later. Dilbert: Gaaa!!! This guy talks too slowly! Get to the point! Narrator: Three hours later. Dilbert: Gaaa!!! Why are my menu options different from the tutorial? I hate living in a world where everything I need to know is on the Internet.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 26, 2016's comic on:


Tags #goals, #accomplishment, #consciousness, #death, #achievement, #medical

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Dilbert: Do you have any long-term goals? Wally: Just death. Dilbert: Death isn't a goal. Wally: It's the best kind. This way, I can go out as a winner. With my last breath, I plan to do a fist pump and yell, "I did it!" What's your long-term plan? Dilbert: I plan to use brain imaging technology to map my mind. Then I'll create a digital copy of myself to live forever in a software simulation. Unless I already did. Wally: Give yourself a fist pump, just in case.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 01, 2016's comic on:


Tags #election, #voting, #technology, #fraud, #cheating, #vote, #Politics

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Boss: We won a contract to write software for voting machines. Dilbert: Who do you want to be president? Boss: Why do you ask? Dilbert: Because I want you to be happy. Boss: You're implying that you plan to fudge the system. Dilbert: I'm not implying anything like that. Obviously, it will be easy to fudge the data, and we are far happier when you're in a good mood. But I would never commit a crime just because it is good for ma and totally undetectable. Boss: Okay, good. Dilbert: So who do you want to win and by how much?

Elbonians Steal Encryption Software

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Elbonians Steal Encryption Software - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 23, 2016's comic on:


Tags #encryption, #technology, #national security, #privacy, #terrorism, #terrorist

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Elbonian 1: I stole the enemy's encryption-breaking software. Elbonian 2: My phone doesn't have a hole for this. I think it needs an adapter or something. Elbonian 1: Is it time to admit we're in over our heads? Elbonian 2: Why are the heathens so good at this stuff?

Elbonian Messenger

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Elbonian Messenger - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 22, 2016's comic on:


Tags #secret, #security, #national security, #information, #human error, #spying, #encryption, #technology, #trust, #espionage

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Elbonian: I am the totally legitimate Elbonian bicycle messenger you called to deliver your encryption-breaking software. Boss: Hmmm... that's exactly what a terrorist would say. Elbonian: No I wouldn't. Boss: Just checking. Here's the flash drive.

Be Careful With Anti Encryption Software

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Be Careful With Anti Encryption Software - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 21, 2016's comic on:


Tags #national security, #privacy, #technology, #encryption, #security, #human error, #secrets

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Dilbert: Here's the flash drive with our anti-encryption software. Don't let it get into the wrong hands or it will eliminate all privacy on Earth. Do you understand? Boss: Blah, blah, software.

For The Good Of The Country

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For The Good Of The Country - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 19, 2016's comic on:


Tags #apple, #iphone, #technology, #national security, #privacy, #terrorism, #encryption

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Boss: The government wants us to make software to crack our own encryption. Dilbert: That sounds evil. Boss: It's for the good of the country. Dilbert: Can I test it on your phone? Boss: You'd have to kill me first. Dilbert: That would be two good things for the country.