Job Comic Strips - Page 7
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936 Results for Job
View 61 - 70 results for job comic strips. Discover the best "Job" comics from Dilbert.com.
Monday July 15,
2019
More People Working At Home
Tags boss, employees, office, office workers
Transcript
Boss: The office is too quiet today. Carol: That's because more people are working from home. Boss: How can I do my job if I can't pop into people's cubicles and share my wisdom? Second question: why is everything running so smoothly lately?
Tuesday July 09,
2019
Below Average
Sunday June 16,
2019
Tags business, office, rules, quotes, chaos, purchasing
Transcript
purchasing manager: i can't approve this purchase without three vendor quotes. dilbert: only two companies in the world make this sort of product. purchasing manager: if i bend the rules for you, everyone will want me to bend the rules. dilbert: maybe you could only bend the rules when it makes complete sense to do so. purchasing manager: that would be chaos. Purchasing manager: everyone thinks they have a good reason to bend the rules. dilbert: is the real problem here that you were bullied in school, and you use this job for some sort of sick revenge. purchasing manager: now you need four vendor quotes.
Friday May 03,
2019
Chatting With The Ceo
Tags business, office, office workers, sarcasm, ceo
Transcript
the boss: i saw you chatting with our eco. what was that all about? dilbert: we were talking about what a great job you do. dilbert: you believe that, right? the boss: seems plausible.
Sunday April 28,
2019
Wally Needs A Raise
Tags business, office, office workers, system, architect, Promotion, pay raise
Transcript
wally: our new system installation is a catastrophe. wally: we need to tear it out and re-architect it from scratch. wally: i'm the only person qualified to lead that effort. wally: but given the enormity of the job, i won't do it without a raise or promotion. the boss: weren't you the cause of the catastrophe? wally: exactly: that's why i'm the only person who knows how to fix it. the boss: are you blackmailing me? wally: no, it's nothing like that. the boss: wouldn't i be rewarding you for failure? wally: let's not label it.
Wednesday April 24,
2019
Be More Like Alice
Tags complain, office, office workers, pay raise
Transcript
the boss: i can't give you a raise because you didn't do anything noteworthy this year. dilbert: it only seems that way because i'm so good at my job that i make it look easy and never complain. alice visually upset and yelling: my job is a nightmare!!! the boss: why can't you be more like alice?
Wednesday April 10,
2019
Alice Won't Shake Hands
Tags business, office, office workers, presentation, germs
Transcript
the boss attempting a handshake: great job on the presentation. alice: i prefer to avoid contact with that festering germ colony you call a hand. the boss: okay. better safe than sorry. alice: and could you face backward when you talk to me?
Thursday April 04,
2019
Asok In A Coma
Tags business, coffee, office, office workers, coma, dopamine
Transcript
dilbert running: ask appears to be in some kind of coma. what should we do? the boss: we see this a lot. his job is so boring that it caused his dopamine to crash. the boss: show him some funny car videos and give him a coffee i.v. dilbert: part of me doesn't want that to work.
Thursday March 14,
2019
Hiring Unethical Scientist
Tags suspicious, boss, lawyer, help, search, straightforward, scientist, bidding, money
Transcript
Boss: We're looking for a scientist who can be easily influenced by money to back our product claims. Lawyer: I'm perfect for that job. I have no ethnical boundaries whatsoever. Boss: But you won't try to con us, right? Lawyer: You can't have it both ways.
Tuesday March 05,
2019
Asok's Employee Engagement
Tags employees, managers & supervisors, office workers, work, attitude, expectations
Transcript
Boss: Asok, your employee engagement has been a bit soft this quarter. I expect a higher level of irrational enthusiasm for the endless string of thankless tasks you call your job. Asok: How's this? Boss: I also want to see an unnatural preference for work over leisure.

