Leave So Soon Comic Strips - Page 7

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

375 Results for Leave So Soon

View 61 - 70 results for leave so soon comic strips. Discover the best "Leave So Soon" comics from Dilbert.com.

Why All The Women Leave

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Why All The Women Leave - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Women, #technology, #quitting, #repulsion, #standards, #gender, #hiring, #sabotage

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: Why do all of the women I hire quit within the first week? Wally: I'm guessing they have high standards, or something along those lines. Boss: They seem to quit soon after they meet you. Wally: Hypothesis confirmed.

Human Contact Through Social Media

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Human Contact Through Social Media - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #loneliness, #antisocial, #people, #introvert, #social media, #communication, #isolation, #technology

View Transcript

Transcript

Asok: Wally, does your lifestyle of being useless ever leave you feeling lonely? Wally: That's the old way of thinking, Asok. Now a person can get the benefits of human contact through social media. Asok: Do you use social media? Wally: No. I run a tight ship.

Stress Typo On Website

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Stress Typo On Website - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #health, #wellness, #corporate policy, #stress, #medical leave, #laziness, #loophole, #typo, #mistake, #work ethic

View Transcript

Transcript

CEO: How many employees did you say took paid medical leave? Catbert: All of them. A typo on our wellness website listed stress as an illness instead of a cause of illness. CEO: Is it too late to backpedal on the wellness thing? Catbert: I'll just fix the typo. It's all good.

Stress As A Wellness Issue

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Stress As A Wellness Issue - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #loophole, #medicine, #health, #stress, #work, #medical leave, #work ethic, #laziness

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: We have a problem. Our employee wellness site lists stress as a medical problem. And working here causes stress. Catbert: How many of them took paid medical leave? Boss: It's just you now. I'm packed.

Wally's Stress Problem

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Wally's Stress Problem - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #stress, #health, #work, #employee, #work ethic, #laziness, #excuse

View Transcript

Transcript

Wally: I need to take an extended medical leave to deal with my job-related stress. The stress is degrading my cardiovascular system. I could drop dead any minute. Boss: Which part of your job is causing stress? Wally: I think it's the work part.

Alice Networks With Ted

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Alice Networks With Ted - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #lunch, #gender, #Women, #business, #success, #double standard, #attraction, #networking, #mixed signals, #flirt, #misinterpretation

View Transcript

Transcript

Alice: Hey, Ted! Are you free for lunch today? Ted: I'm happily married! Leave me alone! Alice: Relax. I only want to network with you. Ted: Is it because I'm ugly?

Removing Obstacles

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Removing Obstacles - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #hinder, #hinderance, #obstacle, #obstacles, #management, #managers, #insult, #zinger, #zing

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: My job is removing obstacles. Asok: When do you leave? Dilbert: I think he was going in a different direction.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #executives, #truth, #honesty, #protection, #protected, #shelter

View Transcript

Transcript

Alice: May I speak frankly? Dilbert: Uh-oh. CEO: Of course! A good CEO listens to his underlings. [He soon realized this was a bad idea. Alice's honesty felt like fire ants on his skin. Bystanders scattered. The CEO had not heard the truth in years. It burned like a thousand suns.] Catbert: Whoa! Someone got truthed.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #distraction, #distractions, #frustration, #futility, #meeting, #meetings, #stress, #walk, #walking, #phone calls, #email, #Sports, #business

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: Let's have our meeting while we take a walk. Dilbert: Absolutely. Shall I expect the usual? Boss: The usual? Dilbert: The first five minutes will be nothing but you trying to find your phone. Then you'll need to return some calls "real quick," then send an email before we leave. On the way to the elevator we will be accosted by every employee you've been avoiding for a week. Then you'll invite one of them to walk with us, which means we can't talk about my project. But it doesn't matter because you'll be on your phone the entire walk anyway. Asok: Did you know that walking lowers stress? Dilbert: Does it?!!

Dilbert Knows How To Negotiate

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Dilbert Knows How To Negotiate - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #deadlines, #delivery, #management, #negotiating, #negotiation, #reorganization

View Transcript

Transcript

Negotiations Continue. Salesman: I can't meet your delivery deadline unless you agree to my price today. Dilbert: If you don't agree to my price today, management is likely to do a reorg soon and change its mind about this project. Salesman: How often does that happen? Dilbert: It hasn't happened since breakfast, so we're overdue.