Legal Rights Comic Strips - Page 7
115 Results for Legal Rights
View 61 - 70 results for legal rights comic strips. Discover the best "Legal Rights" comics from Dilbert.com.
The Boss: We financed our expansion by selling the goodwill on our balance sheet to a wealthy investor. Dogbert: "I made a list of the customers that I want your products to injure." "Your lawyer did a bad job on the contract." The Boss: "His name is on your list."
"Some batteries in the lab leaked." "I cleaned it up, but there was no place to put all of the hazardous waste." "I couldn't put it in the regular trash or the recycling bin." "It's not legal to pour it down the drain or flush it." "So I put it between two pieces of bread and left it in the break room refrigerator." "GAAA!!!" "Not really. I just wanted to find out who's been eating my lunch." "You mean I'm not going to die?" "Not instantly."
The Boss: The employees are getting all whiney about the asbestos in the ceiling." "I told them it wasn't dangerous, but apparently I'm not credible in this HazMat suit." "I don't think it's fair that they judge me by my clothes."
"The Elbonians are demanding bribes, or else they won't do business with us." "Hire them as overpaid consultants and don't ask them for anything. That way, it's all legal." "And by legal you mean won't get caught?" "Po-tay-to, po-tah-to."
"A cubicle vacancy opened up, so I'll be moving out of here." "My attorney will contac you about dividing up our workspace property." "Next, can you proves that you have both eyebrows before you met my client?"
"Here are your regular goals and here are your stretch goals." "What's the difference?" "The regular goals can be achieved by sacrificing health and your personal life." "The stretch goals require all of that plus some sort of criminal conduct." "I'm guessing that your boss gave uou the regular goals and you came up with the stretch goals on your own." "That way, When I achieve the regular goals you'll get a raise because I missed the stretch goals." "Then you'll get a bouns for salaries below budget." "Maybe we should talk about the ultra-stretch goals later."
"Sixty-percent of our distribution goes through Walgetco." "For all practical purposes, they now own us, except for the legal liabilities." "They'd like us to wear orange vests and bow toward their headquarters." "But no touching?"
Negotiations Dilbert: so far we've agreed that my company will take all the expenses and legal liabilities. Dilbert: your company will take all of the revenue, patents and public credit. But where it says I"ll dig you a swimming pool with my bare hands I will not do that. You win! You can use a spoon!