Less Risk Comic Strips - Page 7

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336 Results for Less Risk

View 61 - 70 results for less risk comic strips. Discover the best "Less Risk" comics from Dilbert.com.

Wally's Lateness Excuse

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Wally's Lateness Excuse - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #laziness, #excuse, #lying

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Boss: Why are you two hours late for work? Wally: Your wife didn't want to bother you, so she called me and asked if I would go to your house and see if she left her curling iron plugged in. Do you believe me, or do you want to risk being the first person she calls next time. Boss: Well played.

People Are Terrible

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People Are Terrible - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #hate, #human error, #interpersonal, #introvert, #misanthropy, #people, #antisocial

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Boss: What's the biggest risk with your plan? Dilbert: It's people. They're terrible once you get to know them. Boss: Then don't get to know them. Dilbert: I tried that with you and it didn't work.

Wally Is Unlikely To Do Favors

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Wally Is Unlikely To Do Favors - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #apathy, #assist, #favor, #guest artist, #help, #helpful, #laziness, #john glynn

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Carol: Wally, will you do me a favor? Wally: It feels unlikely. Carol: You haven't heard it yet. Wally: That matters less than you hope it does.

Asok Asks For His Job Back

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Asok Asks For His Job Back - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #driver, #money, #taxi, #ride share, #rideshare, #disillusionment

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Asok: I'm here to beg for my job back. Driving for Uber was less glamorous than I'd hoped. My mental health and my bladder have been stretched to their limits. Boss: Maybe we could discuss this over a tiled floor area.

Charging Client For Thinking

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Charging Client For Thinking - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #thinking, #engineers, #time, #worth, #meetings, #billing, #money, #cost

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Boss: The client says you billed them for all the time you spent thinking about their project. Dilbert: I'm an engineer. Thinking is what I do. Should I think less? Boss: Maybe you could meet with someone while you think. Dilbert: How's that working right now?

Robot High Five

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Robot High Five - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #soul, #patience, #frustration, #artificial intelligence, #technology, #emotions, #anger

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Boss: Did you notice any changes after Alice gave you an artificial soul? Robot: I'm less tolerant of idiots asking me questions. Boss: High five. Robot: What is wrong with you people???

Dna Kit Predicts Health Issues

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Dna Kit Predicts Health Issues - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #technology, #future, #death, #prediction, #health, #reaction, #medical

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Dilbert: I combined a DNA test kit with big data to predict a person's future health issues. That depressing knowledge caused every member of the test group to make risky lifestyle choices. Now half of them are dead. At the risk of bragging, that's exactly what my model predicted.

The Danger Of Sitting

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The Danger Of Sitting - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #work, #office, #sitting, #chair, #health, #working, #sedentary, #danger

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Boss: Why aren't you working in your cubicle? Wally: Sitting increases my risk of obesity, cardiometabolic disease, cancer, stress, depression, and cognitive dysfunction. Boss: I had no idea sitting was so dangerous. Wally: I know. Imagine if I tried working.

People Keep Stealing His Ideas

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People Keep Stealing His Ideas - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #criticism, #honesty, #insult, #conversation, #ideas

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Coworker: People keep stealing my ideas! Dilbert: Maybe that is an illusion caused by the fact that your ideas are both old and obvious. Were you hoping for a less honest reaction? Coworker: I kinda was.

Ceo's Yacht

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Ceo's Yacht - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #hypocrisy, #money, #salary, #wages, #net worth, #rich people, #yacht, #obliviousness, #saving, #cost

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CEO: We must learn to do more with less. Alice: You own a yacht that has an 18-hole golf course, and a landing strip for your jet, and its own zip code. CEO: I got a good deal on that. Alice: That's what the idiot that buys it form you will say, too.