Long Term Potential Comic Strips - Page 7

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

422 Results for Long Term Potential

View 61 - 70 results for long term potential comic strips. Discover the best "Long Term Potential" comics from Dilbert.com.

Different Time Estimates

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Different Time Estimates - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #quote, #estimate, #time, #deadline, #length, #pessimism

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: I'm getting wildly different estimates for how long it will take to write the software. Dilbert: Based on my experience, I say take the longest estimate and multiply it by three. Boss: Is experience exactly the same as pessimism? Dilbert: Experience is much worse.

Estimating Finish Times

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Estimating Finish Times - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #website, #internet, #developer, #code, #coding, #deadline, #time, #deception, #lying, #technology

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: I'm having trouble managing our web developer because I don't know how long things are supposed to take. Does it really take nine months to change the font on the home page? Developer: How much do I owe you? Dilbert: Tell him my project normally takes two years.

Ceo Sits On His Wallet

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Ceo Sits On His Wallet - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #complaining, #perspective, #suffering, #competition

View Transcript

Transcript

CEO: I hate to complain, but it hurts when I sit on my wallet for too long. Asok: I risked an honor killing to pay my rent. CEO: This is why I hate to complain. Asok: I know a hundred ways to eat a spider.

Tell Me What Was In The Email

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Tell Me What Was In The Email - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #email, #laziness, #attention, #detail, #tldr

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: I don't have time to read your long email. Tell me what it said. Dilbert: I wrote a long email because a summary would be dangerously misleading. Boss: I'll be the judge of that. Dilbert: How?!!!

The Long Email

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
The Long Email - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #communication, #laziness, #email, #tldr

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: You never got back to me with your answer. Dilbert: Yes, I did. I spent three hours writing an email that tells you all you need to know. Boss: What did it say?

Asok Is An Introvert

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Asok Is An Introvert - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #introversion, #introvert, #loneliness, #social situation

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: Do you have plans for the weekend? Asok: No, I"m an introvert. I'll probably experience despair and loneliness while being jealous of people who have substance abuse problems. Dilbert: Yeah, me too. Asok: This conversation is dragging on too long.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #goals, #accomplishment, #consciousness, #death, #achievement, #medical

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: Do you have any long-term goals? Wally: Just death. Dilbert: Death isn't a goal. Wally: It's the best kind. This way, I can go out as a winner. With my last breath, I plan to do a fist pump and yell, "I did it!" What's your long-term plan? Dilbert: I plan to use brain imaging technology to map my mind. Then I'll create a digital copy of myself to live forever in a software simulation. Unless I already did. Wally: Give yourself a fist pump, just in case.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #time, #freedom, #free will, #schedule, #work load, #stress, #free time, #breaks, #lunch

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: Schedule your training during your lunch hours so it doesn't impact your projects. Dilbert: But... my lunch hour is the only freedom I experience in a typical day. The rest of my time is either scheduled to the minute or driven by whatever crisis is happening. Please don't take my lunch hour and reduce me to nothing but a prisoner in a digital chain gang. I'm barely clinging to my illusion of free will as it is. This could push me over the edge. If you take away my one hour of freedom in the day, I might as well be a robot. Boss: Relax. This is temporary. Dilbert: For how long? Boss: Until I can replace you with a robot.

The Government Is Listening

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
The Government Is Listening - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #surveillance, #fbi, #privacy, #technology, #bug, #spying, #cell phone, #iphone, #apple

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: The government asked me for an update on your project. Dilbert: I'll talk into your phone. They listen to you all day long. Boss: This is unsettling. Dilbert: Everything is on schedule!

Don't Read Long Emails

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Don't Read Long Emails - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #email, #tldr, #communication, #assumption, #honesty

View Transcript

Transcript

Man: You didn't answer my email. Dilbert: I don't read long email messages. Long emails are a sign of a disorganized mind. I try to avoid contact with that sort of person. Man: And yet, here I am. Dilbert: I didn't say it works every time.