Low Cost Substitutes Comic Strips - Page 7

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

284 Results for Low Cost Substitutes

View 61 - 70 results for low cost substitutes comic strips. Discover the best "Low Cost Substitutes" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #anger, #engineers, #wages, #start up, #million each, #under paid, #money, #salray, #paid workers

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: This is one of the engineers that works at the start-up we purchased. We bought the company just to get the engineers. Basically, each engineer cost us a million dollars. Dilbert: I'm so underpaid! Engineer: That money didn't go to me!

Dilbert Characters

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #astroid intercept missle, #fate of earth, #scientific equipment, #united nations, #science

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: Good news! We were the low bidder for The United Nation's asteroid intercept missile. The fate of Earth depends on your combined talents plus my management skills. Wally, you're in charge of fissile material, which I assume is a type of soda.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business ethics, #gotcha fees, #airlines, #make moneky, #terrible battery life, #high five

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert: You need to have more "gotcha" fees. That's how airlines make their money. For example, you could design your product to have a terrible battery life, then sell extra chargers for ten times your cost. CEO: And maybe the chargers could break after two months. Dogbert: High five!

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #executives, #honesty, #low margins, #make money, #extended warrantees, #idiots, #forgetful, #take advantage

View Transcript

Transcript

CEO Investor Call CEO: Our margins are so low that we gave up trying to make money that way. Now we make all of our money selling extended warranties to idiots who will forget they bought them. Woot-woot! Guess what the margin on that is! Ha ha! Dilbert: It's okay. We don't let him connect to the outside.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #work ethic, #90 day performance plan, #low ambitions

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: Ted, I'm putting you on a ninety-day performance improvement play. Ted: Yes!!! I've always dreamed of making it onto the performance improvement plan! Boss: It's not as good as it sounds. Ted: With all due respect, you don't know how low my ambitions are.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #managers & supervisors, #work ethic, #low priority tasks, #rational being, #reward, #business

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: You keep spending time on low-priority tasks. Dilbert: That's because I'm a rational being. I only work on tasks that are likely to give me some sort of reward. Boss: I don't know how to deal with that. Dilbert: Have you tried managing?

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #average person, #offer low prices, #prices, #products on sale, #raising prices, #smart enough

View Transcript

Transcript

CEO: We're going to stop pretending our products are always on sale and instead offer low prices all the time. The average person is smart enough to know that our so-called sales prices are our normal prices anyway. Dilbert: Have you ever talked to an average person? Boss: Tell me again why we're raising all of our prices?

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #all worked up, #complain about attitude, #escalated, #low priority tasks, #emergency

View Transcript

Transcript

Alice: Stop whatever you're doing and go research the answer to this question. Brad: I don't have time to work on low-priority tasks. Alice: Give me ten minutes to transform it into an emergency. Brad is being unhelpful. I need you to talk to his boss. Boss: Sure. Brad refuses to help Alice. Brad's Boss: Help her do what? Boss: I don't know, but obviously it's very important because it got escalated. Brad's Boss: It must be an emergency because everyone is all worked up about it. Alice: Now hum a happy tune or I'll complain about your attitude.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #universities & colleges, #cost analysis, #data centers, #good investment, #college, #education

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: Do a cost analysis for consolidating our data centers. No matter what the data says, make sure your conclusion is that it's a good investment. Dilbert: Remind me why I went to college. Boss: Some liar probably convinced you it was a good investment.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #better job, #goldilocks zone, #managers, #marinate in own stench, #monster, #skills expire, #technology certifictae, #training, #your training

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: I need to get this technology certification. Boss: Whoa! No way. If I pay for your training, you'll use your certification to get a better job. At the moment, you're in what we managers call the goldilocks zone. You're not hot enough to get a better job, and you're not yet incompetent at the one you have. When your skills expire, in the next year or two, I'll replace you with someone younger. Dilbert: You're a monster! I'll pay for my own training and leave you to marinate in your own stench! CEO: How did you keep your training expenses so low? Boss: I marinated in my own stench.