Make Tie Comic Strips - Page 7
1000 Results for Make Tie
View 61 - 70 results for make tie comic strips. Discover the best "Make Tie" comics from Dilbert.com.
Share November 23, 2017's comic on:
Doctor: The MRI shows unusual activity in the laziness region of your brain. Normally, I would recommend brain surgery, but your brain also registers an unusually high level of happiness. Wally: So... how do we handle this? Doctor: I'm going to operate on myself to make me more like you.
Share November 19, 2017's comic on:
Dilbert: Are there any questions? Man: Your plan is so dumb that I am forced to make my condescending face to respond. You are so dumb! Dilbert: Did you have a reason? Man: Do I have a reason? Hahaha! That's precious. There are so many reasons that I don't know where to start! Dilbert: Just pick one. Man: Haha! Easy. You will never get funded. Dilbert: It's already fully funded. What else do you have? Man: To be honest, all I had was the funding issues and this face.
Share November 17, 2017's comic on:
Boss: Ted, your performance is poor. I need to let you go. Ted: Is it a coincidence that you're firing me at the same time my employee health monitor detected cardiovascular disease? How good are the predictive analytics on this? Boss: Don't make lunch plans.
Share November 11, 2017's comic on:
Boss: I want you to present your stealth clothing prototype to our board. Wally: Are you sure? Boss: Of course I'm sure. CEO: I thought we were trying to make the person invisible. Wally: Then why is it called stealth "clothing?"
Share November 07, 2017's comic on:
Barry: I see you're off your phone. Can I pop in and ask a quick question? Boss: Yes, but only if it is quick. Barry: Oh, it will be. Boss: Okay, make it quick. Barry: What is blockchain and how will it influence our strategy across all product lines?
Share October 21, 2017's comic on:
Alice: Dilbert's problem is that he's a huge narcissist. Robot: You are not qualified to make that diagnosis and you cannot detect his inner thoughts. Alice: Open your access panel so I can fix your stupid opinion. Robot: Are you saying I don't have free will?
Share October 11, 2017's comic on:
Dilbert: Can you teach me to be more persuasive? Dogbert: What's in it for me? Dilbert: It will make you feel good to help a friend. Dogbert: Does it feel as good as denying you? Dilbert: I have no way to know. Dogbert: Bah!
Share September 27, 2017's comic on:
Man: Everyone says you moved the server rack and lied about it. Dilbert: Everyone is wrong. It didn't happen. Man: Oh, so it's your word against literally "everyone?" Is that what you're saying? I'll go with the majority on this, thank you very much. Dilbert: I want to like people, but they don't make it easy.
Share September 22, 2017's comic on:
Tina: Is there any kind of whistleblower protection at this company? Boss: Yes, management is protected against whistleblowers like you. Tina: Are you going to fire me? Boss: No, no, no. I'll just make you want to quit.
Share September 03, 2017's comic on:
Man: Would you like to sign up for our customer loyalty program? Dilbert: Why would I do that? Man: If you don't we'll overcharge you on your purchases. But if you sign up, we will add a new level of complexity to your life that will make you hate us. Dilbert: I'll stick with the customer disloyalty program. Just overcharge me and I'll never come back. Man: You can get ten percent off your purchase today if you fill out an online customer survey and enter our store code. Dilbert: Please just overcharge me and let me leave! Man: I almost hesitate to ask which extended warranty option you want.