Makes Me Unhappy Comic Strips - Page 7

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

361 Results for Makes Me Unhappy

View 61 - 70 results for makes me unhappy comic strips. Discover the best "Makes Me Unhappy" comics from Dilbert.com.

Boss Makes Dilbert Get Buy In

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Boss Makes Dilbert Get Buy In - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #managers, #purpose, #use, #useful, #threat

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: I'll approve this if you get buy-in from the rest of the department. Dilbert: What value are you adding to that scenario? Boss: I'm not firing you. Dilbert: In that case, keep up the good work.

Alice Takes On More Work

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Alice Takes On More Work - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #work ethic, #laziness, #workload, #philosophy, #semantics

View Transcript

Transcript

Alice: Why do I keep taking on more work while you do noting? Wally: That's because you optimize for productivity, while I optimize for my happiness. Alice: That makes you a freeloader. Wally: I prefer the label "happy winner."

Tina Isn't An Engineer

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Tina Isn't An Engineer - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #engineer, #evaluation, #value, #catch-22, #fired, #termination, #engineering

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: The company makes me rank all of my employees. I put you last because you're not an engineer. I have to fire whoever is ranked lowest, and I can't afford to lose any engineers. Tina; What if I work harder, and do a great job? Boss: Then I'd fire you for not being a team player.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #correction, #correcting, #freak out, #anger, #tress, #Advice, #eavesdropping, #awkward, #temper

View Transcript

Transcript

Man: What's the best way to invest these days? Boss: Penny stocks are the best value because they only cost a penny. Dilbert: Gaaa!!! I hate over hearing bad advice! Boss: If I were you, I"d take out a second mortgage and load up. Dilbert; I don't want to get involved, but I'll feel bad if I don't. Boss: You'll get reliable stock-picking advice from strangers on television. Dilbert: Run! Cover your ears and run! If it makes you feel any less awkward, I don't now what to do now, either.

P Ity The Windowless

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
P Ity The Windowless - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #cubicle, #office, #office workers, #location, #window, #ego, #superiority

View Transcript

Transcript

Tina: Do you think you're better than me just because you have a cubicle with a window? Wally: Yes. Continuous exposure to new stimuli makes my brain create useful pathways and connections. Tina: I did not see that coming. Wally: I pity the windowless.

Cubicle Near Thermostat

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Cubicle Near Thermostat - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #temperature, #office, #cold, #revenge, #thermostat

View Transcript

Transcript

Wally: My new cubicle is the nearest one to the office thermostat. That makes me the de facto ruler of the indoor climate. Dilbert: Don't let the power corrupt you. Wally: I'll start by freezing all the skinny women who laughed at me!

Hire Agile Programmers

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Hire Agile Programmers - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #pun, #deception, #earthquake, #agility

View Transcript

Transcript

Wally: You should move the agile programmers to building six because it has poor earthquake protection. they can jump out of the way if stuff starts falling. Boss; I guess that makes sense. Wally: Can I have one of their cubicles near a window?

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #executives, #robot, #technology, #fairness, #unfair, #golden parachute, #oblivioiusness

View Transcript

Transcript

CEO: The good news is that none of you will lose your jobs to robots. But a robot will take my job next week. I'll retire with an enormous severance package and live out my days in splendor. Meanwhile, the robot that takes my job will be working all of you to death. Robots are natural leaders because they don't care about your feelings. You will experience mental and physical misery on a scale the world hasn't seen since slavery was legal. But hey, it's better than losing your job to a robot. Am I right? Apparently, nothing makes them happy.

Ask The Other Director

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Ask The Other Director - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #reorganization, #logic, #managers, #solutions, #cheating

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: I tried to get approval from the head of Marketing, but the reorg makes it impossible. The outgoing director says I need to ask the incoming directory, but that person hasn't been named. Boss: Bring me solutions, not problems. Dilbert: Forgery it is.

The Self Serving Consultant

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
The Self Serving Consultant - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #consultant, #cruelty, #laziness, #work ethic, #business

View Transcript

Transcript

The Self-Serving Consultant. Dogbert: I recommend firing this guy so you have more money for me. I also recommend withholding his final check until he makes all of my PowerPoint slides for me. Man: This is messed up. Dogbert: Add some recommendations so I sound smart.