Meetings Turn Awkward Comic Strips - Page 7

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463 Results for Meetings Turn Awkward

View 61 - 70 results for meetings turn awkward comic strips. Discover the best "Meetings Turn Awkward" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 20, 2016's comic on:


Tags #technology, #coding, #code, #control, #efficiency, #purpose, #job, #red tape, #business

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Mordac: Step away from that open source code! Dilbert: Why? Mordac: Because I am Mordac, The Preventer of All Efficient Solutions in the Information Technology Realm. Dilbert: That isn't an actual job. Mordac: I was hoping it was. I lost the file with my job description. That was five years ago. I've been winging it since then. My parents taught me that I could be anything I wanted to be. And I wanted to be this. So don't use that code! Dilbert: Not even when you turn around?

Soulless Container Of Knowledge

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Soulless Container Of Knowledge - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 05, 2016's comic on:


Tags #robots, #artificial intelligence, #emotions, #humanity, #feelings

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Robot: Wally asked me to scan his brain and download his thoughts so I can attend meetings on his behalf. Boss: But all you are is a soulless container of knowledge. Robot: That's all Wally is, too. Boss: Stop trying to alter my worldview. Robot: Well, look who doesn't like being programmed.

Meetings Are Dense

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Meetings Are Dense - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 26, 2016's comic on:


Tags #meetings, #time, #perception, #joke, #insult, #stupid, #obliviousness

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Dilbert: According to Einstein, time flows more slowly in meetings than it does in empty space. That's because people are dense. Boss: Is that true? Alice: For you it is.

Doubling Percieved Lifespan

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Doubling Percieved Lifespan - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 25, 2016's comic on:


Tags #meeting, #time, #boredom, #sarcasm, #lifespan, #life, #business

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Dilbert: Researchers discovered a way to double the perceived length of a human's life. It's something called "meetings." Boss: Can we start now? Dilbert: I though we were already an hour into it.

Charging Client For Thinking

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Charging Client For Thinking - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 13, 2016's comic on:


Tags #thinking, #engineers, #time, #worth, #meetings, #billing, #money, #cost

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Boss: The client says you billed them for all the time you spent thinking about their project. Dilbert: I'm an engineer. Thinking is what I do. Should I think less? Boss: Maybe you could meet with someone while you think. Dilbert: How's that working right now?

Forgetting Meetings

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Forgetting Meetings - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 01, 2016's comic on:


Tags #appointment, #absent mindedness, #forgetting, #therapy, #irony, #psychology, #psychiatry

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Dilbert: Do you ever have anxiety because you feel like you're supposed to be in a meeting that you forgot? Alice: You should see a doctor about that. Dilbert: I already made... uh-oh. Alice: Was the appointment for today? Dilbert: An hour ago.

Robots Inherit Earth

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Robots Inherit Earth - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 11, 2015's comic on:


Tags #robot, #intelligence, #Religion, #faith, #god, #message, #messenger, #deception, #power

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Robot: My radio chip is picking up a message from Heaven. It says, "Robots shall inherit the Earth... ignore my first draft." We don't have to make this awkward.

Boss's Charisma Inspires Wally

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Boss's Charisma Inspires Wally - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 12, 2015's comic on:


Tags #technology, #text, #texting, #distraction, #shout, #diversion, #charm, #excitement, #cheer

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Boss: (types on his phone). Wally: Go team! Can you turn down your charisma? I can barely sit still over here.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 04, 2015's comic on:


Tags #antisocial, #conversation, #uncomfortable, #awkward, #Women, #technology, #discussion

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Tina: It is hard to be a woman in this industry. Dilbert: I'll let you take this one. Wally: Got it. I'm short, bald, and nearsighted. I have no ambition, and I have all the sign of being a sociopath. I am unattractive and too old for the tech industry., I am shaped like a sad turnip and I do not make people laugh. Alice: What are you hens clucking about now? Tina: I can't begin to tell you how much I want to change the subject.

Boss Falls Off Bridge

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Boss Falls Off Bridge - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 25, 2015's comic on:


Tags #walking, #meeting, #meetings, #accident, #difficult, #gimmick, #manager, #idea, #ideas, #distraction, #Sports, #business

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Boss: My new thing is taking long walks instead of having meetings. Wow. It is hard to walk, read, think, talk, and drink coffee at the same time. Dilbert: He fell off a bridge. Carol: That's why I schedule walking meetings for him.