Molecules Stop Binding Comic Strips - Page 7

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369 Results for Molecules Stop Binding

View 61 - 70 results for molecules stop binding comic strips. Discover the best "Molecules Stop Binding" comics from Dilbert.com.

I Would Never Ask You To Lie

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I Would Never Ask You To Lie - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 15, 2015's comic on:

Tags #sales personnel, #lying, #sales, #ethics, #business

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Boss: Stop being honest when you go on sales calls. Dilbert: You want me to lie? Boss: I would never ask you to lie. I'm asking you to nod your head and smile while our salesperson lies.

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 22, 2015's comic on:

Tags #modernity, #reality, #thinking, #frustration, #panic, #existentialism, #existence, #meaning of life

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Dilbert: Looks like another day of flailing toward arbitrary goals. I will battle my way through a sea of idiots, much like the zombie apocalypse. My ego will be tested and my nervous system will be degraded. And all of this is to earn money so I can... buy items that scientists and product designers have brainwashed me to crave. But I get back at them by writing software they think they can't live without. My life is like two piles of meat trying to play ping pong. Alice: Stop mumbling and take care of this. Dilbert: You take care of it.

Godwin's Law Is One Jerk

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Godwin's Law Is One Jerk - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 20, 2015's comic on:

Tags #troll, #internet, #comment, #jerk, #hitler, #wwii, #nazi, #holocause, #joke, #social media, #etiquette, #netiquette, #technology

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Dick: People think there are millions of jerks on the Internet, but really it's just me. On a typical night I might make over seven thousand Hitler analogies. Dilbert: Maybe you should stop. Dick: That's what Poland said.

Employees Keep Agreeing

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Employees Keep Agreeing - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 26, 2015's comic on:

Tags #furniture, #office, #arrangement, #laziness, #loophole, #efficiency, #management, #work ethic, #excuse

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Boss: I told the employees about our plan to boost productivity by changing the floor layout. Now they claim they can't get their work done because the current floor plan is inefficient. Hoe do I get them to stop agreeing with me? CEO: What do you usually do?

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 18, 2015's comic on:

Tags #pessimism, #people, #experience, #psychic, #esp, #sixth sense, #learning, #misanthrope

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Coworker: I'll give you the data tomorrow, Asok. Asok: Thanks, Brad! Urk! Suddenly, I know I will not get that data tomorrow. Dilbert: Why are you so freaked out? Asok: I... I... think I can see the future now. Somehow I know that Brad will not do what he says he will do. Dilbert: That's called "experience." It's the first step toward hating all people. Asok: How can I make it stop? Dilbert: I hear good things about death.

Dilbert Characters

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 03, 2015's comic on:

Tags #idea, #brainstorm, #bald, #baldness, #hat, #steal, #patent, #invention

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CEO: I thought of a product idea that could solve the baldness epidemic. Imagine an opaque material in the shape of a dome that puts the top of one's head in stealth mode. Dilbert: We could call it a "hat." CEO: Stop trying to steal my idea!

Understanding The Problem

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Understanding The Problem - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 10, 2015's comic on:

Tags #Advice, #wisdom, #criticism, #bad advice, #executives, #success

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CEO Wisdom. Asok: Can you teach me to be a success? CEO: Yes, obviously. Stop everything you're doing now because it clearly isn't working. Asok: That's it? CEO: Understanding the problem is half the solution.

Tell Everyone You Are Writing A Novel

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Tell Everyone You Are Writing A Novel - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 12, 2015's comic on:

Tags #writer, #reputation, #writing, #novel, #peer pressure, #motivation, #frustration, #writers block

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Dilbert: I'm telling everyone I'm writing a novel. That way I can leverage the invisible hand of social influence to motivate me for the next year. Alice: Have you written anything yet? Dilbert: Stop badgering me!!!

Wally Follows His Passion

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Wally Follows His Passion - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 25, 2015's comic on:

Tags #passion, #motivation, #Advice, #misunderstand, #misunderstanding, #attraction, #follow, #following

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Wally: I'm running low on motivation. What can you do for me? Boss: Follow your passion. Woman: Stop following me. Wally: Dream-killer.

Dilbert's App Stops Cyber Attack

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Dilbert's App Stops Cyber Attack - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 25, 2015's comic on:

Tags #technology, #hacker, #hacking, #cyber attack, #government secret, #advancement, #app

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Boss: I'm loaning you to the government to help stop the worst cyber attack our country has seen. Dilbert: I wrote an app for that. Okay... done. Are we good? G-Man: It's a gray area. I might need to kill you and steal the app.