New Office Comic Strips - Page 7

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View 61 - 70 results for new office comic strips. Discover the best "New Office" comics from Dilbert.com.

Information From Carl

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Information From Carl - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags office workers, colleagues, rude, mumble, ignorance, information, business, stalk, cubicle, layers

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Tina: i almost got some information from carl. i stalked him to his cubicle and penetrated his outer defense of rudeness. but i never broke through his mumble layer. dilbert: wait until you get to his ignorance layer.

Rewriting Shakespeare

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Rewriting Shakespeare - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags author, play, sarcasm, writing, shakespeare, confidence, rewriting, plot, dialogue, drunk

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Dogbert: My new hobby is rewriting shakespeare's plays so the sentences make sense. He had some good plot ideas, but I think he was drunk when he wrote the dialogue. Dilbert: i admire your confidence. Dogbert typing: "where are you, Romeo?"

Elbonian Words

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Elbonian Words - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, technology, elbonian, headquarters, language, factory, Word

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boss: headquarters has released a new list of things you are not supposed to say when visiting our elbonian factory. at the top of the list, never say "glfalawah" to an elbonian. alice: because it means something naughty? boss: because it isn't a word.

Medicinal Grade Coffee

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Medicinal Grade Coffee  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags health & safety, office workers, business, health, coffee, strength, side effects, medicinal, plywood

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wally with coffee: i've had a lot of side effects since i switched to medical-grade coffee. on the plus side, i can see through plywood, and i no longer need a tool to open jars. dilbert: you couldn't open jars before? wally: let's not dwell on that point.

Medicinal Coffee

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Medicinal Coffee - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags addiction, coffee, health & safety, medical, side effects, tolerance, veins, doctor

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wally in doctor's office: i drink so much coffee that i developed a tolerance for it. do you have any kind of medical-grade coffee that could take me to the next level? doctor: yes, but it has terrible side effects. wally: skip the details and shove it in my veins.

Hand Sanitizer

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Hand Sanitizer - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags office workers, business, hand sanitizer, addicted, overuse, face mask, covid-19, pandemic

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dilbert: i'm getting addicted to hand sanitizer. it started with my hands, but over time, i extended it up to my forearms, then behind my ears, and it just kept going. dilbert: want a squirt? alice: i don't know where that thing has been.

Protesters Surround Building

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Protesters Surround Building - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags face mask, fire, lobby, managers & supervisors, office building, protest, protesters, sign, support, business

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dilbert and boss looking out office window. dilbert: protesters have surrounded our building. boss: don't worry. i put a supportive sign in the lobby so they'll know we are on their side. dilbert: update: our nine lower floors are on fire. boss: maybe i should have used a bigger sign.

Building Codes

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Building Codes - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags managers & supervisors, business, lab, construction, building, codes, stringent, guarantee, rain, mayor, campaign, sarcasm, face mask, false, hope, phase

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boss: how's the new lab construction going? dilbert: i'm having some issues with the local building codes. they seem unnecessarily stringent. for example, we have to guarantee no rain touches the roof. boss: why? dilbert: no on knows. but if we donate to the mayor's campaign, the city will designate the roof a "horizontal wall." boss: and then we can begin construction? dilbert: no, that's just the beginnning of the false hope phrase.

Golden Age For Wally

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Golden Age For Wally - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags 6 feet, avoid, coffee, eye contact, face mask, grocery shopping, office workers, social distancing, upgrade, Women

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wally at coffee pot talking to Dilbert:: social distancing has been a great upgrade to my life. in the old days, women avoided me by at least ten feet. now i often get within seven. i think it's because i'm better-looking with most of my face covered. especially if i wear a hat and sunglasses. and i learned that women will talk to me if i walk the wrong way down a grocery aisle. they're usually complaining but at least they make eye contact. it's sort of a golden age for people like me.

Proceed As If Nothing Happened

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Proceed As If Nothing Happened - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags accomplish, business, face mask, managers & supervisors, office workers, people, project, technology

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tina: why did you tell our boss i have the wrong people on my project? dilbert: i didn't say that. in fact, i don't even know what you project is trying to accomplish, much less who is working with you on it. will we now proceed as if you didn't hear me say that? tina upset: they are not the wrong people.