News Comic Strips - Page 7
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Character
166 Results for News
View 61 - 70 results for news comic strips. Discover the best "News" comics from Dilbert.com.
Tuesday August 09,
2005
Tags good news, bad news, coporate marathon, 26 miles, run marathon, tomorrow
Transcript
I have some good news and some bad news. "The good news is that the company is going to sponsor a corporate marathon team." "The bad news is that one of you has to run 26 miles tomorrow."
Monday August 08,
2005
Tags good news, Promotion, you didn't get it, misogyny, screams
Transcript
The boss: I have good news about the promotion you wanted: You didn't get it! Alice: "HOW COULD YOU POSSIBLY CALL THAT GOOD NEWS?" The boss: "They don't like positivity."
Tuesday July 12,
2005
Tags don't sit by popel, full flight, suitcase, overhead comaprtment, bin, scotch over
Transcript
"Your seat is next to mine, but I don't like to sit by people." "It's a full flight, so I don't see how I could...oh dear..." "No, I wll not 'scooch over.'" "News!"
Friday March 25,
2005
Tags you're ugly, or rumor is ugly, bad news, ugly rumor
Transcript
Dilbert: "I'm the victim of an ugly rumor at work." Dogbert: "Are you saying that the rumor is ugly or that the rumor is that you're ugly?"<Br>"I'm saying the rumor itself is ugly."<Br>"Well, then I have more bad news for you."
Tuesday October 12,
2004
Tags evil director, human resources, good news employee, trunover, scented kitty litter, downhill, quality, business
Transcript
Catbert: Evil director of human resources
Tuesday August 17,
2004
Tags product designer, function, design, everything, quality, news, emotional impact, hard to look at
Transcript
"Product designer" Dogbert: "Function means nothing. Design is everything." "Quality is yesterday's news. Today we focus on the emotional impact of the product." Dilbert: "But it still needs quality, right?" Dogbert: "You are so-o-o-o hard to look at."
Saturday July 17,
2004
Tags stock plunged, acquire compnay, few shares, sit in cubicle
Transcript
Dogbert: Your stock just plunged on the news that you're going to acquire another company. Have you noticed that your stock goes down whenever you do anything? I'll buy a few shares if you'll agree to sit motionlessly in your cubicle.
Tuesday July 06,
2004
Tags bad news coming, time stopped, grows beard, eternity later, boss forgets
Transcript
Dilbert: Time has stopped until my boss gives me the bad news that he hinted was coming. Maybe I'll use the time to invent a new language and grow a beard. An Eternity later Dilbert: EE_YO NEBABA WANPONU GREP> The boss: I forgot why I wanted to talk to you.
Sunday May 02,
2004
Tags stock investing, valuable data, project on schedule, refines data, ceo, accountants, nanotaechnology, discount brokerage, investors, secret society, donald trumps
Transcript
dogcart explains stock investing Dogbert: pay attention. First, employees provide data. Th boss: is your project on schedule? Wally: I didn't know I had a project. A Manager refines the data. The boss: we're on schedule. The CEO gives visibility to analysts. CEO: no problems whatsoever. Accountants publish bad news in footage notes using a combination of nanotechnology and gibberish. Accountant: still too obvious. -Discount brokerage firms tell you that you're smart- Use you own ideas! Investors do their own research Buy it because I did. Thank you unbiased stranger! A secret society of Donald Trump look alike end up with all your money trumps: you're fired. you are!
Tuesday April 20,
2004
Tags backs up, fake news, lake view, potential fire place, rains, real estate charlatan, seasonal skylight, sweras, turning bad into good, well written
Transcript
Dogbert the real estate agent "When it rains the sewer backs up and covers the driveway." "Lake view." "Every spring rabid squirrels rip off huge chunks of the roof to look for food." "Seasonal skylight." "The dry brush behind the house is a fire hazard." "Potential, fireplace."


