Search Results for "obliviousness"

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Trust Yourself

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Trust Yourself - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 04, 2015's comic on:


Tags #motivation, #inspiration, #logic, #obliviousness, #Advice, #executives, #motivational speaking

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CEO: The key to success is trusting yourself. Alice: Even when you're wrong? CEO: I'm starting to think motivation isn't a thing.

How The Elbonians Spun It

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How The Elbonians Spun It - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 14, 2015's comic on:


Tags #slavery, #slave, #slaves, #semantics, #owner, #ownership, #obliviousness, #wages, #money, #pay, #payment

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Dilbert: How's it going with the Elbonians you bought on the Internet? CEO: I had to set them free. Turns out it was slavery after all. Dilbert: You made them work without pay. CEO: Yeah, that's the spin they put on it, too.

Buy One Elbonian

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Buy One Elbonian - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 13, 2015's comic on:


Tags #slave, #slaves, #slavery, #owner, #obliviousness, #nuance, #help, #maid, #maids, #servant, #servants, #semantics

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Alice: I hear you're a slave owner now. CEO: That is unfair. I buy a few Elbonians on the Internet and suddenly I'm the "slave owner" guy. Alice: You are literally an owner of slaves. CEO: I prefer to think of them as bad negotiators.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 05, 2015's comic on:


Tags #ideas, #problems, #talking, #solution, #obliviousness, #criticism, #honesty

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Boss: Why didn't you tell me our biggest vendor pulled out of the deal? Dilbert: If I told you my problems, you would suggest solutions. Your solutions generally don't make sense. But you are my boss, so I would be obliged to waste time looking into your suggestions. So if you try to solve my problem, I will have two problems instead of one. Boss: Sometimes my ideas are good! Right? Dilbert: That is a dangerous way to think.

Wally's Hobby

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Wally's Hobby - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 24, 2015's comic on:


Tags #compliment, #insult, #backhanded compliment, #hobby, #obliviousness, #deception

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Wally: Your strategy looks like a genius way to fight the last war. Boss: Thank you. Wally: No problem. You owe me a compliment. At what point does insulting your boss and getting away with it count as a hobby?

Doomed Smartwatch Project

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Doomed Smartwatch Project - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 10, 2015's comic on:


Tags #analogy, #obliviousness, #assignment, #technology, #invention, #watch, #failure

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Boss: You'll be in charge of our smart watch project. Dilbert: ...that is doomed from the start. Boss: Stop being such a pessimist. Dilbert: Said General Custer to his horse. Boss: Why would he talk to his horse? Dilbert: Because even the horse knew something was wrong!

Boss And Social Media

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Boss And Social Media - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 01, 2015's comic on:


Tags #social media, #twitter, #facebook, #passion, #deception, #trick, #prank, #obliviousness, #technology

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Boss: I don't get social media. How do I get followers? Wally: Easy. People care about passion. Find something you hate and write about it. Boss: Well, I don't like children. Wally: Perfect. And don't hold back.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 10, 2015's comic on:


Tags #social media, #facebook, #twitter, #pinterest, #instagram, #obliviousness, #technology, #communication

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Boss: Do you have a minute to answer a quick question about social media? Dilbert: I don't have time... Boss: Real quick. One question. Dilbert: Okay, but make it fast, please. I'm late for my meeting. Boss: Okay, the question is this... Can I Instagram a tweet right to Facebook... or does liking something I also favorited automatically pin it to my followers? Dilbert: I'm going to say yes and go to my meeting. Boss: I probably should have asked some follow-ups.

Squirrel In The Large Hadron Collider

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Squirrel In The Large Hadron Collider - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 04, 2015's comic on:


Tags #criticism, #obliviousness, #ignorance, #idiocy

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Boss: Your comments on my technology strategy are ambiguous. You compared it to a "squirrel looking for a nut in the large hadron collider." Dilbert: So..? Boss: How many nuts are in there?

Wally Won't Oversupply Wisdom

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Wally Won't Oversupply Wisdom - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 27, 2015's comic on:


Tags #economist, #Promotion, #jargon, #babble, #deception, #smart people, #obliviousness

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Boss: Our CEO wants to promote you to Chief Economist because nothing you say makes sense. He thinks that's the sign of a great economist. Wally: It totally is. Boss: Say something smart. Wally: Whoa! I don't want to create an oversupply of wisdom.