Office Tour Comic Strips - Page 7
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967 Results for Office Tour
View 61 - 70 results for office tour comic strips. Discover the best "Office Tour" comics from Dilbert.com.
Saturday May 30,
2020
Why Use Tests
Tags #diseases, #health & safety, #medical, #office workers, #sarcasm, #pandemic, #virus, #diagnose
Transcript
Dilbert: No face mask? Boss: I have antibodies for the virus. I'm pretty sure I had the virus last January when I had a throat tickle. Dilbert: I wonder why virus test kits exist when we can just ask people if they had it. Boss: I was wondering the same.
Thursday May 28,
2020
Wally Borrows Money
Tags #danger, #health & safety, #money, #office workers, #social distancing
Transcript
Wally: I heard you are not practicing social distancing. Can I borrow some money? CEO: What does social distancing have to do with borrowing money? Wally: I like borrowing money when I might not have to pay it back.
Wednesday May 27,
2020
Boss Is In A High Risk Group
Tags #criticism, #health & safety, #office workers, #sarcasm, #virus, #pandemic, #risk
Transcript
Carol: Are you worried about coronavirus because you're in a high-risk group? Boss: Why would I be in a high-risk group? Carol: Do you own a full-length mirror? Boss: No. They make me look fat.
Sunday May 24,
2020
Stopping Theft Everywhere
Tags #office workers, #business, #technology, #system, #reduce, #theft, #dumb, #product
Transcript
dilbert: and by using this system, we will drastically reduce theft. co-worker: that's the dumbest think i have ever heard. no one can stop theft everywhere in the world. dilbert: i said we would reduce it, not eliminate it. and only for our own products. co-worker: so, in other words, it won't work. dilbert: it works to reduce theft. co-worker: but you admit there will be theft. dilbert standing and yelling: what is wrong with you???? co-worker: hey, i'm not the one who is in favor of theft.
Friday May 22,
2020
Virus Hellscape
Tags #boss, #diseases, #office workers, #virus, #pandemic
Transcript
Boss: Do you have ten munutes to come talk to me about the project timeline. Dilbert: Yes, but it isn't worth exposing myself to you virus-droplet hellscape. Boss: I'll just guess what you would have said. Dilbert: I think that's best.
Thursday May 21,
2020
Mumble Ventriloquists
Wednesday May 20,
2020
High Fives
Tags #boss, #hygiene, #life, #office workers, #virus, #pandemic, #social distancing
Transcript
Boss: To avoid spreading viruses, there will be no shaking hands in the workplace. That custom has been replaced by uncomfortable body language and awkward banter about not shaking hands. Dilbert: Are high-fives still okay? Boss: Yes, we don't care if those people live or die.
Tuesday May 19,
2020
No Lunch With You
Tags #diseases, #lunch, #office workers, #rejection, #virus, #pandemic, #invitation, #social distancing
Transcript
Dilbert: Would you like to join me for lunch? Woman: I don't even want to be in the same zip code as your diseased mouth. No offense. Dilbert: None taken.
Monday May 18,
2020
Makeup Under Mask
Tags #makeup, #masks, #offended, #office workers, #pandemic, #human resources
Transcript
Dilbert: Do you wear makeup under the mask where no one can see it? Or do you leave your snout area all pale and pimply? Tina: Stop imagining me unmasked. Dilbert: I'll report myself to human resources.
Saturday May 16,
2020
Dilbert Has To Upgrade Server
Tags #coronavirus, #business, #technology, #network, #upgrade, #server, #boss, #latency, #locks, #garage, #sleep, #face mask, #work from home
Transcript
dilbert wearing face mask and carrying computer bag: i'm going into the office to upgrade a server. according to my boss, reducing network latency is more important than my life. can i depend on you to not change the locks while i'm gone? dogbert: only if you sleep in the garage.