Only Hope Comic Strips - Page 7

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View 61 - 70 results for only hope comic strips. Discover the best "Only Hope" comics from Dilbert.com.

Never Give Reasons

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Never Give Reasons  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 25, 2019's comic on:


Tags #Advice, #debates, #internet, #Opinion, #social media, #idiot

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Dogbert the Internet Debate Coach Dogbert: Never give reasons for your opinions. That only gives your opponent fodder for proving you're an idiot. Asok: Then how can I win a debate on social media? Dogbert: No one knows. It has never been done.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 17, 2019's comic on:


Tags #distraction, #exercise & fitness, #frustration, #lunch, #office workers, #time, #walking, #coworkers

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Dilbert: Would you like to take a long walk with me at lunch to get some exercise? Tina: That's a great idea! Dilbert: Okay, I'll come get you at noon. Ready? Tina: Yes, I only need ten minutes to finish this. Dilbert: I only have an hour for lunch, and your ten minutes will turn into twenty. Tina: That's okay because I wore heels today and I can't walk more than a block anyway. Dilbert: Why did you agree to take a long walk if you couldn't take a long walk? Tina: Because I was planning to walk to the store on the corner to do an errand anyway. Dilbert: You've ruined my walk! Tina: Just give me forty minutes to wrap this up.

Dumb Questions

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Dumb Questions - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 16, 2019's comic on:


Tags #boss, #insults, #meetings, #office, #office workers, #questions, #sarcasm

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Dilbert: Let's brainstorm, and remember, there are no dumb questions, only dumb bosses. Boss: Was that necessary? Dilbert: I stand corrected: There is at least one dumb question.

Small Managers

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Small Managers - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 14, 2019's comic on:


Tags #boss, #business, #computer software, #engineering, #frustration, #office workers, #sarcasm, #clients

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Boss: I told a customer we would make a small change to the software for them. Dilbert: There are no small software changes, only small managers. Boss: Dang it! Why does that sound so wise!

Meeting Robot's Son

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Meeting Robot's Son - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 06, 2019's comic on:


Tags #family & parenting, #hungry, #Kids, #robot, #technology

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Robot: I'd like you to meet my son. As you can see, he is half-human and half-machine. Dilbert: Does he talk? Robot: Only when he's hungry or he can't find his charger.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 20, 2019's comic on:


Tags #annoyance, #insults, #office, #office workers, #people, #sarcasm, #introvert, #coworkers

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Tina: Sometimes it seems as if you don't like me. Dilbert: Don't be ridiculous. I'm just an introvert. Being around people drains my energy. I only avoid you because spending five minutes with you feels like being buried alive. With fleas instead of dirt. Tina: So...it isn't personal? Dilbert: I need a nap.

Hiring A Millennial

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Hiring A Millennial - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 16, 2019's comic on:


Tags #employees, #office workers, #sarcasm, #smartphone, #generation, #millennial

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Boss: I hired a millennial who was raised by smartphones. He won't make eye contact, and we don't expect him to ever mate. Dilbert: Can he speak? Boss: Yes, but only with sarcasm.

Soaring With The Eagles

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Soaring With The Eagles - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 19, 2018's comic on:


Tags #boss, #managers & supervisors, #office workers, #inspiration

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Boss: The inspirational poster I put in the break room isn't working. I asked around and no one is soaring with the eagles. Catbert: Is the poster defective? Boss: That's the only explanation that makes sense.

Jargon

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Jargon - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 06, 2018's comic on:


Tags #confusion, #employees, #irritation, #language, #meetings, #sarcasm

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Man: This was a great meeting. Are there any questions? Dilbert: I didn't understand any of the jargon you used for the past hour, so I have no idea what this meeting was about. Man: Why didn't you say something sooner? Dilbert: That's a good strategy for people who have hope.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 02, 2018's comic on:


Tags #business, #decision, #executives, #managers & supervisors, #sarcasm, #success, #manipulation

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CEO: Profits have increased thirty percent under my leadership. Dilbert: Snort. CEO: What? Dilbert: All you do is pick the best plans from the options we show you. CEO: Exactly, and I pick the best plan every time. Dilbert: That's because we only show you the best plans compared to the worst plans we can think of. We control every decision you make by manipulating your perception of the options. CEO: We need to fix that. Dilbert: How do you fix something that isn't broken?