Other Engineers Comic Strips - Page 7

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791 Results for Other Engineers

View 61 - 70 results for other engineers comic strips. Discover the best "Other Engineers" comics from Dilbert.com.

Dilbert Loses His Budget

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Dilbert Loses His Budget - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 17, 2017's comic on:


Tags #vacation, #decision, #funding, #money

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Boss: You were on vacation last week so I made decisions about your project without you. Dilbert: Oh no... what have you done? Boss: I transferred your budget to another project. Dilbert: I need that money! Boss: Oh. Can you wait until the other project manager goes on vacation?

You Will Get Used To It

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You Will Get Used To It - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 04, 2017's comic on:


Tags #coworkers, #Politics, #disagreement, #Opinion, #flaw, #personality, #psychology

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Boss: I can't assign you to a project team because everyone hates you for your political opinions. Wally: And they don't hate me for being useless in general? Boss: I guess we all got used to that. Wally: You'll get used to the other thing, too. Give it some time.

Add Feature To Legacy System

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Add Feature To Legacy System - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 21, 2017's comic on:


Tags #legacy, #development, #change, #obstinacy, #engineers, #stalemate

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Man: Wally, I need you to add a feature to the legacy system while we wait for the new software to go live. Wally: My job is to prevent people such as you from adding features to our legacy system. Man: But it's my job to make you do it. Wally: One of us has a terrible job.

Who Wants The Legacy System Job

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Who Wants The Legacy System Job - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 20, 2017's comic on:


Tags #laziness, #work ethic, #legacy, #underachiever, #volunteer

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Boss: I'm assigning our best and brightest engineers to the new system integration team. Anyone who is left over gets to be in charge of watching our legacy system slowly rot. Dilbert: Who would want that job? Wally: Me!!! Pick me!!!

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 29, 2017's comic on:


Tags #cell phone, #conversation, #meeting, #business, #technology

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Why isn't anyone else here yet? Did you tell them you changed the meeting time? I asked you to tell everyone. That isn't my job. Then why didn't you tell me you weren't going to do it?!! It isn't my job to tell you what isn't my job. Now this meeting is a waste of my time. Does your job description tell you to attend meetings that are worthless? I didn't know there were other kinds.

Cartoonist Says Something Bad On Social Media Real

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Cartoonist Says Something Bad On Social Media Real - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 12, 2016's comic on:


Tags #engineers, #sociopath, #pathology, #hit man, #murder, #killing, #morals, #emotions

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CEO: The famous cartoonist we hired to be our spokesperson said something bad on social media. Boss: Oh no. How bad is it? CEO: Our board voted to kill him. Do you know any sociopaths? Boss: I'm head of Engineering. CEO: Good point. Pick any one of them.

Nothing Else To Talk About

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Nothing Else To Talk About - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 11, 2016's comic on:


Tags #personality, #boring, #bored, #conversation, #small talk, #psychology

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Man: Do you want to know how we would have handled this situation at my old job? Dilbert: No. Dilbert: Nothing would interest me less. Man: My only other topics of conversation are my health problems and TV shows you haven't seen. Dilbert: I stand corrected.

Tina Isn't An Engineer

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Tina Isn't An Engineer - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 06, 2016's comic on:


Tags #engineer, #evaluation, #value, #catch-22, #fired, #termination, #engineering

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Boss: The company makes me rank all of my employees. I put you last because you're not an engineer. I have to fire whoever is ranked lowest, and I can't afford to lose any engineers. Tina; What if I work harder, and do a great job? Boss: Then I'd fire you for not being a team player.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 25, 2016's comic on:


Tags #mentor, #mentorship, #competition, #honesty, #truth

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Dilbert: I need some mentoring. Boss: This is awkward. On one hand, helping you would make me appear wise and generous. On the other hand, it would make you a more credible threat to take my job. I see you as more of an adversary than a subordinate. That's why I withhold vital information that you need to do your job. I've already said too much. Wally: Did you learn anything? Dilbert: Yes, unfortunately.

Ask The Other Director

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Ask The Other Director - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 09, 2016's comic on:


Tags #reorganization, #logic, #managers, #solutions, #cheating

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Dilbert: I tried to get approval from the head of Marketing, but the reorg makes it impossible. The outgoing director says I need to ask the incoming directory, but that person hasn't been named. Boss: Bring me solutions, not problems. Dilbert: Forgery it is.