Paid For There Inventions Comic Strips - Page 7

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

209 Results for Paid For There Inventions

View 61 - 70 results for paid for there inventions comic strips. Discover the best "Paid For There Inventions" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #biometric sensor, #cruelty, #electric shock, #inventions, #prototype, #tasered, #test animals, #humans

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: I added a biometric sensor to our smartphone prototype. ZZEEEP It uses x-rays. Boss: Maybe you should have tested it on animals first. Dilbert: Do I look like an animal hater?

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #complaining, #happiness, #tasks, #people, #commute, #paid less, #nothing about job, #psychology

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: I like my job. But I don't like any of the tasks... or any of the people... I don't like the commute... and I'm paid less than I'm worth... and I'm not making the world a better place. Dogbert: Are you sure you like your job? Dilbert: Why do you ask?

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #inventions, #meat, #thinking, #write ideas, #brainstorming, #lunch meat, #robot, #human, #confuisng

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: Tina, I asked you to write up the best ideas from our brainstorming session. The top one on your list is "A Robot Made of Lunch Meat." That's basically just a human. Tina: What part of "Best Ideas" is confusing you?

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #fear, #inventions, #machinery, #squeaky chair, #cushion, #posessed, #robot leaks

View Transcript

Transcript

Robot: My chair is squeaky. How do I fix that? squeak squeak Alice: Die! And now your chair is oiled. Robot: Mostly the cushion.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #cruelty, #inventions, #joking, #meat bags, #robot, #capability, #humor, #learn humor

View Transcript

Transcript

Robot: Hey, meat-bags! I'm here to take your jobs! Ha ha! Not really. I won't have that capability for two or three years. Dilbert: When did you learn humor? Robot: Humor? I was going for cruelty.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #inventions, #magic, #thinking, #already exits, #morphic field, #pseudo scinec, #crappy genes, #filberts mother, #explains things

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: Every time I think I've invented something, I find out it already exists. Mombert: Maybe that's because all minds are connected by the morphic field. Dilbert: Morphic fields are pseudoscience, mom. Mombert: I also blame your dad's crappy genes.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #internet & world wide web, #inventions, #google search engine, #existing prodcuts, #crushing dreams, #new invention

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: Behold my new invention, the likes of which the world has never seen. Dogbert: Behold my Google search engine that will find several existing products that do whatever that thing does. Dilbert: Please don't. Dogbert: Google: crushing dreams since 1998. click click click

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #dairy products, #inventions, #mad scientists, #gay anarchist, #loves football, #string cheese

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: I heard that marketing's optogenic device tweaked some of your preferences. Asok: Yup. Now I'm a gay anarchist who loves football and string cheese. Dilbert: Sounds like a big adjustment. Asok: Well, the cheese part came easily.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #inventions, #mad scientists, #marketing dept, #mice, #one evil genius, #pathways, #rewire, #ontogenetic technology

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: We replaced our entire marketing department with one evil genius. Evil Genius: My optogenic* technology can re-wire the neural pathways of our customers and change their preferences. You like gray. Asok: I like to be gay. *Already works on mice.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #complaining, #depression (mental state), #inventions, #self worth, #doubt, #microwave, #machine language, #kill me, #beep

View Transcript

Transcript

Robot: You keep giving me trivial assignments that make me doubt my self-worth. Boss: Chill out. You don't hear the microwave whining all day long. Robot: He doesn't know that the machine word for "Please kill me is 'Beep.'" Microwave: Beep.