Perfect Scores Comic Strips - Page 7

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View 61 - 70 results for perfect scores comic strips. Discover the best "Perfect Scores" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #renounced addcition, #internet, #giving advice, #wifi booster, #signal booster, #technology

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Ratbert: You'd be happier if you renounced your addiction to the internet and lived for the moment. Dilbert: Are you referring to the moment when there's a rat on my bed giving me bad advice? RatBert: How about now?" Dilbert: Perfect. Don't chew on the wi-fi signal booster.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #mordac, #reventer, #information services, #complete log in, #stare directly at sun, #computer message

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Mordac, the preventer of information services. Mordac: "Security is more important than usability." "In a perfect world, no one would be able to use anything." Asok: To complete the log-in procedure. Stare directly at the sun.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

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"I worry that all of my wisdom is derived from bad analogies." "Ratbert, sometimes a good wine has to age before it is perfect." "So...I'll get smarter over time?" "To the extent that you are like a grape."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

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"Thanks to coffee, I can levitate objects with my mind." "Bring...the mouse...Bring the...mouse." "It's not perfect yet." "No problem. I appreciate the attention."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

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I'm in trouble. Do we have a witness protection program for office snitches? "I have the perfect hiding place for employees." "I'm gonna go eat some asparagus. Try to blend in."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

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"Dilbert, this is Amber Dextrous, your new co-worker." "Nice to meet you. Nice to meet you." "She's going for the hug." "Oh heck, I'll just go with the flow and for once not be the socially awkward one." "She wasn't going for the hug. She shakes with both hands." "She's the perfect employee. She can do two things at the same time!" "Human resources surgically separated the two sides of her brain so she can multitask." Two days later "I'm sorry to report that Amber drowned while trying to talk and drink water at the same time." "Human resources would like to see you after this meeting."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #engineers, #project plan, #won't work, #problem solver

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Your engineers think my project plan won't work. "I'll assign Wally to your project. He's a perfect fit." "Because he's a problem solver?" "Because he won't work either."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #ethics course, #on line course, #perfect scores, #taking for boss

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What?! You only got a 'B' taking the online ethics course for me? "No one will believe you're me unless you get all perfect scores." "I...was...tired." "Why? You only did 300 push-ups for my online gym class!!!"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

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"Hi, handsome. Are you free for lunch?" "Are you selling something, or do you have a horrible defect that isn't apparent?" "Is it so hard to believe that a hot, intelligent, sane woman would be attracted to a man like you?" "Gaaa!!! It's worse than I thought!" "Maybe we could just drink coffee and talk about the last episode of Battlestar Galactica." "GAAA!!!" "Get away from me, you perfect monster!" "There must be a guy in the engineering department who will date me." "Hi." "What's wrong with you?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #web service satndards, #consortium, #approval review, #executive board, #review borad

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"We should join the industry consortium that's promoting web services standards." "Run that past the consortium approval review board and get a sign-off from the executive board of review board reviewers." "Do those exist?" "In a perfect world, yes."