Personal Business Comic Strips - Page 7

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View 61 - 70 results for personal business comic strips. Discover the best "Personal Business" comics from Dilbert.com.

Ruined The Stock Price

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Ruined The Stock Price  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #technology, #stock, #subordinate, #inappropriate, #behavior, #bonus, #money, #paper towel, #ceo, #work

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boss: our stock is down because seventy-three subordinates accused our ceo of inappropriate behavior at work. so i can't give you a bonus even though your work was excellent. co-worker's head explodes: Boom!!! Carol: how'd he take it? Boss: grab some paper towels.

Dogbert Is Selective

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Dogbert Is Selective - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #consultant, #crisis, #selective, #client, #jail, #Advice, #folksy, #wisdom

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title: dogbert the crisis consultant. dilbert and dogbert on a walk. dogbert: i'm very selective about my clients. that's because clients who take my advice usually end up in jail. so i only take clients i hate. dilbert: i like your folksy wisdom.

Dogbert Crisis Consultant

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Dogbert Crisis Consultant - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #managers & supervisors, #subordinates, #allegations, #crisis, #consultant, #statement, #lying, #dumb, #believe, #public, #legal, #defense

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dogbert: my job as a crisis consultant is to help you respond to the allegations from seventy-three of your past and present subordinates. i'll issue a statement from you saying everyone of them is lying. ceo: who would be dumb enough to believe that? dogbert: i call them "the public."

Ceo Is Accused

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Ceo Is Accused  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #complaint, #managers & supervisors, #subordinate, #accuse, #inappropriate, #crime, #hug, #defense, #legal

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catbert: seventy-three subordinates are accusing you of inappropriate behavior. ceo: i don't see what's so "inappropriate" about threatening to ruin a subordinate's career unless i get a hug. catbert: you know that's a crime, right? ceo: maybe i shouldn't handle my own defense.

Wally's Advice

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Wally's Advice - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Advice, #audience, #business, #complain, #connection, #droopy, #emotion, #emotional intelligence, #Entertainment, #hate, #medical, #persuasive, #problems, #sad, #sarcasm, #self-deprecating, #slide deck, #spouse, #technology, #tragic, #wife

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boss: if there anything i can do to make my slide deck more persuasive? wally: you need to make an emotional connection with your audience. start with a tragic personal story that makes everyone sad and droopy. then talk about your various medical problems, and don't spare the details. then complain about your wife because most people hate their spouses too, so they can relate. and don't spare the self-deprecating humor because everyone can relate to knowing you are a loser. boss: wow. thank you for that advice. i'll make those changes. dilbert: how much do you hate him? wally: it's more about my entertainment.

Cut Pay For No Commute

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Cut Pay For No Commute - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #technology, #video call, #commute, #employment, #wages, #reduce, #pocket, #stealing, #prison, #innocent, #laptop, #coffee

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dilbert and boss on video call. boss: i've decided to reduce your pay because you no longer commute. when you pocket those savings, it is as if you are stealing from the company. dilbert: actually, it isn't like that at all. boss: everyone in prison says they're innocent too.

Shelves Are Ugly

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Shelves Are Ugly - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #technology, #video call, #background, #attractive, #shelf, #lawn mower, #gym, #human, #decency, #rude, #laptop

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Dilbert on video call. voice from laptop: what's that behind you on the shelf? can't you make your background more attractive? dilbert: if we're being that way, who cuts your hair? your lawn mower? voice from laptop: did your gym go out of business? dilbert: i already miss our last shred of human decency.

Reschedule The Zoom Call

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Reschedule The Zoom Call - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #technology, #hear, #microphone, #broken, #reschedule, #zoom, #call, #laptop

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boss hosting video call. boss: hi, can everyone hear me? wally with laptop on bed: no, your microphone must be broken. we can't hear anything. boss: maybe i should just reschedule this zoom call. wally: that's how i'd play it.

Lonely Man

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Lonely Man  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #technology, #zoom, #discuss, #issue, #video call, #voice call, #attractive, #lonely, #Women, #man, #remote, #work from home, #cell phone, #linkedin, #profile, #photo

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dilbert on couch with cell phone texting. dilbert texting: let's do a zoom call to discuss that issue. tap tap tap other person's response: you only want to do a video call because i'm an attractive woman and you are a lonely single man working remotely. will you settle for a voice call while you stare at my linkedin profile photo? dilbert: yes

I Can't Hear You

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I Can't Hear You  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #technology, #video call, #engineer, #sales, #dumb, #hear, #inaudible, #meeting, #long

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Alice on video call. voice from laptop: i can't hear you. Alice: well, i'm an engineer, and you're in sales, so that narrows it down to some dumb thing you're doing. voice from laptop yelling: i...can't...hear...you... alice: this is going to be a long meeting.