Pie Hole Comic Strips - Page 7

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86 Results for Pie Hole

View 61 - 70 results for pie hole comic strips. Discover the best "Pie Hole" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 19, 1996's comic on:


Tags #3d colored pie chart, #unexplained rise, #expenses, #binder, #rising expenses, #color copies cost, #i see it, #magic eye doofus

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Dilbert, Wally and Alice sit at a conference table. The Boss points to a diagram created with an overhead projector and says, "This 3-D colored pie chart shows an unexplained rise in expenses." The Boss continues, "You each get a binder of colored pie charts so you can help find the cause of our rising expenses." Wally asks Dilbert and Alice, "How much do color copies cost?" Dilbert looks at the binder and says, "I think I see it!" Alice says, "It's not the 'magic eye,' Doofus."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 10, 1995's comic on:


Tags #help desk, #reengineered, #out of existence, #never call again, #pie chart, #crush computer, #ass flour, #bake one hour, #free novel, #manual, #repeat process

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A bald man says into the telephone, "Hello, is this the 'Help Desk'?" Dogbert wears a headset and sits at a computer. He replies, "No, that group got reengineered out of existence." Dogbert continues, "I'm the new 'No Help Whatsoever Desk.' My job is to make sure you never call again." The man asks, "Can you tell me how to make a pie chart?" Dogbert replies, "Crush your computer into small chunks, add flour and bake one hour." Dogbert continues, "While you're waiting, read the free novel we sent you. It's a Spanish story about a guy named 'Manual.'" Dogbert continues, "Repeat the process until you get the desired result." The man sits next to an oven reading an instruction manual. He thinks, "This lost a LOT in the translation."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 16, 1995's comic on:


Tags #write programs, #punch cards, #rather be fishing, #snap suspenders, #alice threat, #snap you into next week, #space time continum

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Alice sits at a conference table typing on a laptop. An older man with a beard sits next to her. The man says, "I used to write programs using punch cards . . . But I'd rather be fishing . . ." Alice grabs the man by his suspenders and shouts, "Look, you bearded road apple, if you answer one more of my questions with an irrelevant story I'll snap you into next week!!" The caption says, "Sometime next week . . ." Dilbert and Wally see a hole in the air with a man's legs hanging out of it. Wally says, "Looks like a hole in the space-time continuum." Dilbert asks, "Did you hear a snap?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 14, 1995's comic on:


Tags #Catbert, #hr director, #too stressful, #company counselor, #re engineered, #counseling process, #cover sand

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An employee sits in Catbert's office. The man says, "My job is too stressful. Can I see a company counselor?" As he plays with the ball of string on his desk, Catbert replies, "I re-engineered our counseling process. Now we put you in a big hole and cover you with sand." The man stands in the hole while Catbert kicks sand onto him. The employee says, "If this is my only benefit I'd better get a LOT of sand!" Catbert says, "Just keep your mouth open."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 13, 1995's comic on:


Tags #human resources, #developed policy, #employees who complain, #big hole, #trick whiners, #sand, #detailed explaination, #hole, #business

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Catbert and the Boss stand on either side of a hole in the floor. Catbert says, "As Director of Human Resources I have developed a policy for handling the employees who complain." Catbert continues, "It's a big hole. I'll trick the whiners into getting in it. And then I'll cover them with sand." The Boss says, "I don't see how this could possibly work." Catbert says, "There's a detailed explanation at the bottom of the hole."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 02, 1995's comic on:


Tags #new co - op employee, #no pay, #free, #gain experience, #pig project, #paper towel guy, #spills cofee, #throw body, #fire in the hole, #tea, #body throw

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The Boss, a man, Alice, Wally, and Dilbert sit around a conference table. The Boss points to the man and says, "I'd like you all to meet our new co-op employee." The Boss says, "We don't pay him. He works for free to gain valuable job experience." The Boss says to the man, "I'm putting you in charge of the PTG project!" The man says, "Wow! What is it?!!" Alice replies, "PTG stands for 'Paper Towel Guy.'" Alice explains, "If somebody spills coffee it's your job to throw your body on it before it reaches one of us." Alice spills a cup on the table and says, "Oops." The man flies through the air, yelling, "Fire in the hole!!!" The man lies on top of the spill. He asks, "How'd I do?" Alice says, Not so good, kid. That was tea."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 14, 1994's comic on:


Tags #desparation, #fabric of spce, #fear, #helpless, #meeting forever, #time division, #marketing guy

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Wally: what shall we tell the guy from marketing this time? Dilbert: hee hee Let's see if we can make him feel a sense of helpless desperation and fear. The time -division multiplexer opened a hole in the fabric of space. Wally: we're trapped in this meeting forever.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 04, 1994's comic on:


Tags #c computer lamguage, #black hole, #light can't escape, #field gravity, #ideas, #escape, #lack substance

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"No, 'C' is a computer language, not the grade for my project." "What's happening?" "He turned into a black hole, so dense that light cannot escape his field of gravity." "Ping" "Unfortunately, only his ideas can escape the gravity because they lack substance." "What if you program in 'B'?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 04, 1993's comic on:


Tags #bob, #ratbert, #global warming

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Ratbert rides on Bob the Dinosaur's back. Ratbert says, "As part of our symbiotic relationship I'll shout a warning when danger approaches." Ratbert shouts, "There's a hole in the ozone layer! Consumer confidence is down a point!" Bob shouts at Ratbert, "Angry dinosaur with big tail!" Ratbert's legs and tail stick out of a tree trunk. Ratbert asks, "You call that symbiotic??!"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 25, 1993's comic on:


Tags #ratbert, #Dogbert, #writing, #book, #trapped, #space, #hole, #day, #one, #editor

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Dogbert sits on his pillow listening to the radio. Ratbert says, "I'm writing a book about being trapped in the space hole for three hundred thousand years." Ratbert writes, "Day one: I thought about cheese. Day two: see Day one. Day three; See day two . . ." Ratbert carries a stack of paper into the room and asks Dogbert, "Do you know a good editor?"