Planning Meeting Comic Strips - Page 7

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

1000 Results for Planning Meeting

View 61 - 70 results for planning meeting comic strips. Discover the best "Planning Meeting" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #intelligence, #aspirations, #relationships, #betterment, #warren buffett

View Transcript

Transcript

Asok: Warren Buffett says you should spent time with people who are better than you. Alice: Why would people who are better than me be dumb enough to spend time with me? Asok: Well... I assume you have to find people who are better than you, but not smart enough to avoid you. Because, obviously, you'd be bringing down the average of anyone who was better than you. Which reminds me, I need to cut this meeting short to keep my average up. Dilbert: Maybe we can continue the meeting without him. Alice: That would only be good for you. I need to find better people. Dilbert: The meeting went downhill from there. Dogbert: Can you wrap this up? You're bringing down my average.

View more books now

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #berating, #yelling, #gaslight, #temper, #anger, #frustration

View Transcript

Transcript

Asok: What's that gadget? Woman: Are you freakin' serious? Asok: Yes. Woman: Oh... My... God. Do you not remember the long discussion about this thing in the last meeting? Are you trying to gaslight me? I have not patience for trolls! Eat dirt and die! Asok: I joined the project today. This is my first meeting. Woman: Liar! Dilbert: Welcome to the team.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #team, #teamwork, #collaboration, #excuses, #group project, #business

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: Thank you all for coming. I'm hoping we can make a lot of progress in the next hour. Alice; I didn't get any sleep last night, so don't expect much from me. Asok: I'm so hungry I can barely think. Man 1: I might be a bit distracted today because my wife told me she wants to leave me. Wally: I can't stay for the whole meeting. I have another thing in a few minutes Man 2: I'm only here to sabotage your project because I can't abide the success of others. Dilbert; Why don't all of you leave now and I'll make all the decisions myself. Boss: How'd the team meeting go? Dilbert: Better than I expected.

Meeting Rooms Are Booked

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Meeting Rooms Are Booked - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #meetings, #managers, #scheduling, #conflict

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: My project stalled because all of our meeting rooms have been reserved by managers just in case they need them. My current plan for success is to wait until one of you dies sow e can use your meeting room. Boss: Let's not do project status reports anymore.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #interview, #hiring, #honesty, #immoral, #ulterior motives

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: What would you say are your biggest weaknesses? Man: I like to rifle through my coworkers' desks when they aren't looking. But I don't steal anything unless I know I can frame someone else for the crime. I leave for work an hour late every day and blame traffic. I avoid accomplishing goals so I won't feel like sellout. Sometimes I'll start a trash fire just to get out of a meeting. And I've gotten every one of my bosses fired for things they didn't say or do. Boss: Would he be a good fit? Dilbert: I like what he has to offer.

Optimal Meeting Density

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Optimal Meeting Density - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #laziness, #excuses, #excuse, #meeting, #meetings, #powerpoint, #business

View Transcript

Transcript

Wally: We've achieved optimal meeting density. We have so many meetings that I can avoid all of them by saying I have another meeting at the same time. Man: While you're here, can you review my slide deck? Wally: I'd love to, but I have fifty slide decks ahead of you.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #address, #address of meeting, #anger, #driving, #gps, #inattentive, #lost, #meeting, #naviagte, #navigation system, #snap, #using phone, #business

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: Whats the address for our meeting? The Boss: You don't need it. I'll tell you where to turn, Dilbert: With all due respect you are not a reliable navigation system. You will be using your phone and you will forget to tell me when to turn. Dilbert: If I point out your inattentiveness you will snap at me,. Dilbert: I wil be seething with anger for the entire drive, while wondering if I am already lost and don't know it. or you could tell me the address now. The boss: You don't need it. I'll tell you when to turn. AN HOUR LATER Dilbert: must... not drive...over...cliff....

Dogbert's Insult Consulting

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Dogbert's Insult Consulting - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #company rules, #insulting, #co workers, #teach how, #insult, #within guidelines, #standing desk, #meeting, #employer, #business

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert consults DOgbert: Company rules forbid you from insulting your co-workers. I'll teach you how to insult each other while staying within company guidelines. The boss: That doesn't seem possible. Dogbert: you should look into getting a standing desk.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #military, #office workers, #survival, #hero

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: This is our new employee, Mark. Mark was a navy SEAL. He fought in three separate conflicts. He once fought off a hundred insurgents and saved a town. Show Mark how we roll at this company. Dilbert: Today I'll be reformatting my PowerPoint deck because someone said the design is not organic. Mark: What's that mean? Dilbert: It doesn't matter. I'll just push some things around and hope the guy who complained doesn't attend the next meeting. Mark: How do you survive this place? Dilbert: I don't like to use the word "hero."

Wally Likes Sitting

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Wally Likes Sitting - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #laziness, #standing desk, #health, #sitting, #standing

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: The company has authorized the purchase of standing desks for employees who want them. Wally: Literally the only good thing about this job is that I can do it while sitting down. Boss: How did you get to this meeting? Wally: Your chair doesn't have wheels?