Second Sign Comic Strips - Page 7

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

260 Results for Second Sign

View 61 - 70 results for second sign comic strips. Discover the best "Second Sign" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 14, 2008's comic on:


Tags #can't survive, #flyswatter, #late invoices

View Transcript

Transcript

A man says, "My tiny company can't survive if you insist on paying our invoices late." The Boss says, "You should have thought of that before you decided to become a tiny company." The Boss says, "Come here for a second." A man says, "Please... not the flyswatter."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 13, 2008's comic on:


Tags #interest free loan, #paperwork, #snortling, #leverage is limited, #no snortling

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss says, "I've decided that your tiny company will give us an interest-free loan." The Boss says, "There's no paperwork to sign. We'll just pay your invoices late while snortling." The Boss says, "This is the part where you realize your negotiating leverage is limited." A man, "I demand no snortling!"

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 03, 2008's comic on:


Tags #borrow pen, #company like family, #culture, #search computer, #sign docuemnt, #test for dugs, #trust and respect, #manipulate

View Transcript

Transcript

CatBert: This company is like a family. Our culture is based on trust and respect. Now sign this document that says we can test you for drugs and search your computer and your office. Man: Can I borrow your pen? Catbert: Do I look like Bill and Melinda Gates?"

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 20, 2008's comic on:


Tags #human resources, #hr person, #evil director, #bad attitude, #project, #corpse of misery, #donated brain, #gum museum, #mental imbalance, #clarity, #irrational, #employee moral festival, #won meeting, #business

View Transcript

Transcript

Catbert: Evil director of human resources Catbert: Your boss says you have a bad attitude. Dilbert: That's because my project is a flailing corpse of misery, and my boss donated his brain to a gum museum. If I had a good attitude in this situation, it would be a sign of a mental imbalance. My bad attitude is proof that I am thinking clearly. Are you going to compliment me on my clarity or demand I be irrational? CatBert: I'm putting you in charge of the employee morale festival. Dilbert: I have a sudden urge to grab you by the tail and beat myself to death. Catbert: That's how I know I won the meeting.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 07, 2007's comic on:


Tags #ask the intern, #died, #moon shuttle, #sample of dna, #jar, #reincarnate to clone, #jar missing, #needed for candy

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss: "I am sad to report that Asok the intern died during a test of our moon shuttle prototype." "Before he left, he put a sample of his DNA in a jar. His plan is to reincarnate into his own clone." "Where's the jar with Asok's DNA?" Carol: "I needed a second candy jar."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 05, 2007's comic on:


Tags #intern, #test pilot, #new moon, #shuttle prototype, #wiser, #monkey on first flight

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss: "Asok, I need an intern to test-pilot our new moon shuttle prototype." Asok: "Wouldn't it be wiser to send a monkey on the first flight?" The Boss: "You're thinking of the second flight."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 02, 2007's comic on:


Tags #coworkers, #cubicles, #question, #busy, #promise of speed, #five seconds, #name calling, #no time, #disrespect, #no help

View Transcript

Transcript

Tina; "Do you have a minute?" Dilbert: "No." Tina: "This will just take a second." Dilbert: "No it won't." Tina: "It's real quick." Dilbert: Never is. Tina: "You have my word that it will take no longer than five seconds." Dilbert: "Okay. Go." Tina: "Oh, good. So, I was walking by and I thought maybe I should stop and ask you something because..." Dilbert: "Time's up." Tina: "Jerk" Dilbert: "Liar."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 16, 2007's comic on:


Tags #20% raise, #two flat screens, #monitors, #evil genius, #second monitor

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: "My pay is below market. Can I have a 20% raise?" The Boss: "No, but I'll let you use two flat screen monitors in your cubicle so it feels like you're an evil genius in a secret lair." "Bu-Wa-HAHA!" Wally: "Who got a second monitor?"

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 11, 2007's comic on:


Tags #unqualified crony, #quality control group, #value loyalty, #great leader, #extra disloyal

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss: I hired an unqualified crony to run our quality control group. "I value loyalty over competence. That's the sign of a great leader." Dilbert: "Do you see any problem with that?" The Boss: "It makes you look extra disloyal?"

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 28, 2007's comic on:


Tags #2 hours late, #work late, #alleged loyalty, #company loyalty

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss: "Wally, it's ten o'clock. You're supposed to start at eight." Wally: "That's because I plan to work for two unverifiable hours after you leave tonight." "My alleged loyalty to this company is second to none."