Self Complimentary Comic Strips - Page 7
148 Results for Self Complimentary
View 61 - 70 results for self complimentary comic strips. Discover the best "Self Complimentary" comics from Dilbert.com.
Share April 13, 2008's comic on:
Alice, I'm hoping we can work together on this project in the spirit of cooperation. I'll have some ideas, and you'll have some ideas, and together we can pick the best ones. Alice: Sure, that's one approach. But I prefer to exhale deeply and roll my eyes while you prattle. Then I will verbally demolish your ludicrous ideas, and dismantle your mistaken self-image as a competent man. The carnage will create a striking contrast for the warm, clear glow of my brilliant ideas. Later, I will round out the package by spreading amusing stories about how ignorant you are. Is there any chance of doing it my way? Alice: Now watch the eyes."
Share February 24, 2008's comic on:
Dilbert: I'm going to a singles mixer tonight. Do you have any advice? Dogbert: Don't I always?" "It's all about knowing what a woman needs. Find a woman who looks hot, carve her out from the herd and read this. Dilbert: What is it?" Dogbert: It's the ultimate pick up line. Dilbert: Um...Hi. Excuse me. Criticism completes me. woman: He's a keeper.
Share January 07, 2008's comic on:
The Boss: What have you learned this week working as my employee mole? Mole: Some of the people in this building think you're a worthless, self-important gas bag. The Boss: What do other people think? Mole: They don't know you."
Share September 20, 2007's comic on:
Dilbert: "I saw a fascinating documentary about bugs." Date: "In other words, you like bugs more than you like me." "In other words, you like bugs more than you like me." Dilbert: "Yes, but I didn't realize it until just now."
Share May 06, 2007's comic on:
"Can I ask you a question?" "Sure, new guy." "How long do I need to work here before..." "...the dark cloud of hopelessness and despair begins to lift?" "I keep expecting the feeling to go away any minute." "I was hoping to achieve job satisfaction within a month." "Once that happens, I figure that total self-actualization can't be far behind." "I'd give it another day or two." "Any minute now."
Share May 08, 2006's comic on:
Dilbert: Now that I'm unemployed, I don't feel like a valuable member of society. GarbageMan: Consider this bag of garbage. It too is unemployed and yet it is worthy of love. Dilbert: I don't love it. Man: That's too bad because no one else will date you now.
Share January 13, 2006's comic on:
Ted: I used to be a photographer, wild and unsupervised. I tasted the sweet nectar of freedom. Carol: Fill out your time report in 15-minute increments so we always know what you're doing. Attempted self-strangulation is code 39. If you succeed, it's 40.
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Share March 19, 2005's comic on:
The Boss: "Alice, I need your forecast and I need it right now." Alice: "I predict that someday you'll wear your pants so high that you'll choke yourself to death with your belt." "And the towns-people will erect a statue to honor your belt." The Boss: "Stupid towns-people."
Share February 11, 2005's comic on:
"I'm addicted to e-mail. My endorphins spike when I get a message." "When there are no messages, loneliness and despair overcome me." "Have you tried sending e-mail to yourself?" "We don't talk about that."