Skip Staff Meeting Comic Strips - Page 7

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View 61 - 70 results for skip staff meeting comic strips. Discover the best "Skip Staff Meeting" comics from Dilbert.com.

How Long It Will Take

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How Long It Will Take  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, assignment, deadline, incompetence, meeting, co-workers, months

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boss: can you have it done in a week? dilbert: not if i have to work with other employees. given the galactic incompetence of my co-workers, it would probably take seven to non months. boss: i'll give you two weeks. dilbert: that's how long it will take to set up the first meeting.

Conference Call

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Conference Call - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags office workers, business, conference call, meeting, useful, don't care

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wally: how did your conference call go? dilbert: normal. it took us twenty minutes to get everyone connected, followed by forty minutes of garbled speech that no one understood. the meeting ended when everyone got tired of pretending something useful was happening. wally: i didn't really care.

Meeting To Decide When To Meet

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Meeting To Decide When To Meet - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, managers & supervisors, meeting, schedule, thursday, berate

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boss: i need everyone to come to the thursday meeting so we can decide when to schedule our next meeting. dilbert: why don't we just have the meeting on thursday? dilbert: see me later, so i can berate you for saying that. dilbert: do we need a meeting to schedule that?

Time Travel By Printer

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Time Travel By Printer - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, presentation, technolgy, molecular, scan, body, brain, time travel, 3d print, meeting

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dilbert giving a presentation: i invented a device that can scan your body and brain at molecular level. now you can time travel by killing yourself and leaving instructions to 3d-print you back to life in the future when the technology is able. response: where will you find anyone dumb enough to test it? dilbert: have you ever attended a meeting at this company?

Learning What Doesn't Work

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Learning What Doesn't Work - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags managers & supervisors, project, fail, failure, business

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wally in meeting: my project failed miserably, but i think we can agree we came out ahead. for example, we learned what does not work boss: you? wally: that's one way to look at it.

Two Places At Once

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Two Places At Once - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags managers & supervisors, business, meeting, time, states, impossible

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dilbert: you committed me to two different meetings at the same time in different states. it is not possible to be in two places at the same time wally: pfft! i could do it boss: even wally could do it

Boss Recommends Blockchain

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Boss Recommends Blockchain - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags boss, business, computer software, managers & supervisors, office workers, technology

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CEO: I don't understand why you are recommending blockchain for this application. Boss: My staff are the experts, but I can explain the basic idea. You see, using blockchain is like losing a necklace on the beach. Then a seagull finds the necklace and takes it back to it's nest. And we all like data security, don't we? CEO: It's almost as if you are proposing a plan you don't understand at any level. Boss: Well, yes, but keep in mind that you wouldn't understand it even if I could explain it. CEO: But you're sure someone on your staff understands it, right? Boss: Define "sure".

Skipping Teambuilding

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Skipping Teambuilding - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags boss, celebration, irritation, managers & supervisors, office workers, parties, sarcasm, team

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Alice: Can I skip the team-building celebration to get some work done? Boss: No, because I'm trying to change the culture. Alice: To what? Angry and unproductive? Boss: Trust the cake.

The Bad Analogy Guy

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The Bad Analogy Guy - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags meetings, office workers, sarcasm, war

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Man: This meeting reminds me of the sixth elbonian revolution. Therefore, logically, this meeting will end with bayonets. Asok: What's wrong with you? Man: Can I borrow your pen?

Bad Hair Day

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Bad Hair Day - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags angry, boss, employees, employment, hair, hairstyles, meetings, threat, warning

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Boss: Alice, why aren't you at this meeting? Alice: I'm having a bad hair day. Boss: That's no reason to miss a meeting! Alice: You don't understand. It's really, really bad. Boss: Come to the meeting right now, or you're fired! Gurk! Dilbert: That's bad hair. Alice: Can't say I didn't warn him.